I have never made a New Year's resolution. If you haven't either, you've got a lot of company. Two-thirds of Americans do not make New Year's resolutions.

Losing weight, quitting smoking and exercising regularly -- these are the three most common New Year's resolutions, according to psychology professor John Norcross, who studies how often people make New Year's resolutions and how often they keep them.

"Getting along with my mother-in-law," he says "does come up more often than you would expect."

More than half of people who make New Year's resolutions are confident they will keep them. Alas, just 12 percent follow through.

How to help people keep their New Year's resolutions was the focus of one of Norcross' experiments. He put people into different groups and gave them different advice.

What advice proved most useful depended on their sex.

Men were significantly more likely to keep their resolutions when they set themselves SMART goals -- Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time based.

These men didn't think: "I'm going to lose weight." They made an action plan: "I'm going to get on the Stairmaster and exercise for 30 minutes on Monday through Friday."

Women were more successful when they went public with their New Year's resolution -- telling their family and friends.

Women were also more successful if they learned to treat a setback -- like an ice cream binge -- as a temporary lapse, not hard evidence of failure.

If you want to keep your New Year's Resolution (or any other resolution for self-improvement) the American Psychological Association gives this advice:

START SMALL

Vow to replace desserts five times a week with fruit, yogurt, or just one chocolate (plus just one bite of whatever fattening dessert is available.)

I have found an even more effective strategy. I take a bite of dessert from my husband's plate, convincing myself that it therefore has no calories. He is resigned to my filching one bite, but he glares at me if I take more and guards his plate with his elbow.

MAKE ONLY ONE RESOLUTION

This is not the time for a major self-improvement plan. Don't get overwhelmed.

TALK ABOUT IT

Make your goal public. Let your spouse, children and friends know what you are doing. That's going to make it embarrassing if you fail.

DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP WHEN YOU FAIL

Change is hard. Don't give up when you eat that pint of ice cream standing up in front of the refrigerator. So what if you had a setback? It's like falling off a horse. You need to get back on.

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT PREVIOUS RESOLUTIONS

Yes, you probably failed in the past. Most of us do. So make a new resolution or try approaching an old resolution in a new way. You can resolve to exercise, for example, rather than diet.

This practical advice has made me think about actually making a New Year's resolution this year.

I could always ask my husband what, among my imperfections, most needs improving.

I know what he would say, "Don't worry so much!" But such a New Year's Resolution dooms me before I start. I will have one more thing to worry about.