Best advice for 2009: Resolve to live on a beer budget

The problem isn't that we all don't know how to pack light. The problem is -- and has always been -- how we can fit a variety pack of beer into a suitcase without risking spillage. It only gets harder in these days of extra baggage charges.

Over the holidays, I noticed a horrible slew of these "list" stories. Take the article "Party Hearty and Healthy" by Amy Bertrand of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch (published in the Daily News on Dec. 30), who suggests that we forgo chocolate and romantic dinners on Valentine's Day. Instead, she writes, "treat yourself and your sweetie to his and hers massages. Before you go, spend time walking your dog. ..."

Down the Hatch says that if you want more from Cupid than a poke in the eye, take the dog out early by yourself and blow some cash on your honey by buying dinner, chocolates and Venus, the planet beer of love by Midnight Sun Brewing Co. If you want the booty, you've got to give the booty.

Which reminds me of a New Year's resolution story, "Resolve to Improve, Step by Step," also from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Resolution No. 6 says, "Get a job: Find a career that fits" and goes on to conclude that the "new year is a great time to examine how well your career is progressing."

Down the Hatch says, what the heck, dude, are you crazy? Judging from the latest trend in crumbled careers, I say keep whatever job you've got if you can make a decent living doing it. Moreover, I think 2009 is a great period in which to examine why the hell not having a job would cut into your movie night pitchers at the Bear Tooth Theatrepub.

I won't even go into resolution No. 8, "Get rich: Learn to Invest."

Let me just say that Down the Hatch concluded years ago that the reason thousands of derivative news articles, newscasts, financial planners, etc., browbeat folks into putting perfectly good beer money into investment accounts is that other people want to get rich. They don't care if you do.

Beer people are far more transparent. They make beer and ask money for it. They do not pretend to look after your financial health in old age. They do not browbeat you. They do not expect to get filthy rich. They just want to make and drink beer, lead decent lives. There will be no bailouts for breweries, my friends.

Which brings me to a business column from Jan. 1, "Resolve to Be Frugal in the New Year" by Vicki Lee Parker of the McClatchy Tribune News Service.

Granted, Down the Hatch appreciates that the article covers a lot of ground in a relatively small space, but the idea of "going through your last six months of bank statements" and then doing it again every two months sounds insane for anyone with kids, multiple jobs and volunteer obligations.

The best advice is simply to live on a beer budget, folks.

With that in mind, Down the Hatch will now remind you of beer events worth sweating and paying cash for.

With glass recycling on hiatus, why not pick up a free glass growler at Midnight Sun Brewing Co. (7329 Arctic Boulevard, 344-1179, www.midnightsunbrewing.com). The brewery will give them away this month when visitors take in a coupon and buy some beer. Find the coupon online by clicking on the latest ale-mail.

Beer and other beverages will sell at a discount through today at La Bodega Liquor Store (3801 Old Seward Highway, 569-3800. myspace.com/labodegastore). Now there's a sound investment.

Kinley's Restaurant and Bar (3230 Seward Highway, 644-8953, www.kinleysrestaurant.com) will hold a beer dinner featuring products by the fabulous Left Hand Brewing Co. on Wednesday. Call 644-8953 or check the Web site for details. Word is that it will cost $45 a person and start at 6:30 p.m. Savor Twin Sisters Double IPA and the brewery's winter seasonal, Snowbound.

Look for two other events that night: a Great Alaska Beer and Barleywine brewer and dignitary meet-and-greet will at SubZero Microlounge (612 F St., 276-BEER, www.subzeromicrolounge.com); and Humpy's Great Alaskan Alehouse (610 W. Sixth Ave., 276-2337, www.humpys.com) will host a beer dinner featuring the Planet beers by Midnight Sun Brewing Co. Go online or call 276-BEER for confirmation, updates and reservations.

Last but not least, the Great Alaska Beer & Barleywine Festival froths into town Jan. 16 and 17. Look for more details next week, but don't delay buying tickets (www.auroraproductions.net).

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