Melt loved one's heart by spending Valentine's Day outdoors

That's not to say these things have never happened nor been enjoyed -- it's just that they aren't what makes my heart melt.

Instead, my mind dredges up memories as far back as my teenage years -- a fast-food picnic at a scenic overlook with my high school sweetheart -- and works its way to the present: boating across Kachemak Bay on a flat-calm morning with my husband.

There are other moments, too -- ice-skating in moonlight, walking along a seaside pier, hiking a meandering trail and running the dogs during a snowstorm -- that have been sprinkled throughout my life, memories made indelible by the heat of the sun on my skin, the glow of the moon in the sky or the smells of the season in the air. These small contributions help cement the emotions of the moment in a way that no restaurant or fancy hotel could ever capture.

I'm sure I don't speak for all women out there. I know just by driving past the 5th Avenue mall and seeing all the high-heeled, well-coiffed, makeup-wearing women marching toward Nordstrom that perhaps I'm in the minority.

But if you are a guy reading this and your sweetheart just happens to be more into Carhartts than cashmere or walking in the woods than pounding the pavement in the shopping district, you might just rethink Valentine's Day this year. To be honest, I think the day is overrated and corny, yet another attempt by the commercial world to get us to buy, buy, buy.

Still to ignore it could be dangerous. A perfect balance is to mark the occasion with a special gesture. Rather than spend a bunch of money on flowers that will only wither or candy that will only bring on guilt-infused binges, forge a memory.

Let February's cold imprint itself on your loved one as you surprise her with a bonfire in the backyard. Advance your heart rates by tackling a new cross-country skiing destination that leads you off the main trail to your own special spot. Drive her to a scenic overlook to enjoy a special meal lit by the moon.

Above all, make it real. The most dangerous thing you can do is repeat the same old pattern, march out the same old phrases or bring up the same old tired topics. Instead talk to her. Listen to her. Remind her why you love her.

We women are not really all that complicated. We needn't be wined and dined. The equation is simple: Ambience (anywhere outside) + Attitude (Sincerity, thoughtfulness) = one happy Valentine's Day couple.

• Contact Melissa DeVaughn and read her blog "Deadlines and Stopwatches" at www.melissadevaughn.com.