Alaska Ear

The divine appendage

October 24, 2009 

A FUGUE STATE ... Darlings, were you as amused as Ear by news that Bill Allen wanted his sentencing postponed so he could get credit for helping a special prosecutor go after the regular prosecutors who roped him in and aimed him at Uncle Ted? Is it very wrong for the Divine Appendage to imagine a courtroom moment when Bill testifies against the regular prosecutors -- his former handlers -- and they argue that he's an untrustworthy witness, a corrupt liar with possible brain damage whose testimony should not be believed?

Whenever Ear is tempted to feel sorry for Allen (on the third Tuesday of every month with an X in it), he does something to remind us that the rest of the corrupt bastards might be suffering, but the man who financed their corruption is still rich and free. Like reportedly strutting his stuff earlier this month at the latest Barrett-Jackson collectible car auction in Las Vegas, snapping up maybe 30 old cars for, what, $1 million plus? Ear didn't see it, but several earwigs say they caught Bill all over the live feed, where announcers were still asking, "Who is that guy?"

THE RIGHT BOOKS ... In a rather quixotic move for them, The Nation magazine is publishing a book of essays about Sarah Palin on Nov. 17, the same day Sarah's book "Going Rogue: An American Life" goes on sale. The Nation book is called "Going Rouge (not a typo): An American Nightmare" and has a cover very much like Sarah's tome. It features opinion pieces by progressive writers like Naomi Klein and Jim Hightower.

That's interesting, but here's the really cool part: Among the more than 20 noted writers invited to contribute are our own political bloggers Shannyn Moore ( and Jeanne Devon ( Don't know about you, but Ear is totally impressed.

A FEW QUESTIONS ... Is Sen. Tom Wagoner, a Kenai Republican currently in the minority, negotiating to join the Senate majority?

... Is Gov. Parnell hiring the Connecticut consultant who ran Gabrielle LeDoux's congressional campaign to run his re-election campaign? And if so, why?

... Is Frank Bailey the only ex- Palin aide writing a book? Are several collaborating on a tell-all called "the View from Under the Bus?" (Ear assumes this one's a joke).

ON THE MOVE ... Earwigs report former Anchorage School Board president Jake Metcalf has replaced John Cyr as executive director of the Public Safety Employees Association, the troopers' union. Cyr became one of the best known union leaders in the state during the Troopergate flap.

-- Anchorage prosecutor John Skidmore, currently waiting for a verdict in the Sammy Cohen trial, will take over the top job in OSPA -- the state Office of Special Prosecutions and Appeals. He replaces Monica Janicek, who returns to the special assistant's job she held under Talis Colberg, this time for The Other Dan Sullivan, our invisible attorney general who, BTW, has been less invisible lately.

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL ... Rep, Harry Crawford, the latest Democrat seized by the unfathomable desire to throw himself against Don Young's unshakeable majority in next year's election, was reported back in D.C. this past week, making the rounds, lining up support.

True, that stuff in Bill Allen's motion to delay his sentencing that hints at legal problems waiting in the wings for Darling Don looks encouraging to opponents, but after what happened to Ted, Ear seriously doubts Alaskans will throw Don out even if he gets convicted of something.

OUT AND ABOUT ... Maybe. A couple of earmites claim to have seen Sarah tooling around her sister Molly's neighborhood recently in a big new yellow Dodge Ram pick-up. But the reported vanity plate raises doubts, with Ear anyhow: DRTDVA.

Dirt diva? Does that sound like She-who-was-governor?

One of the spotters suggested DRMAQN would be more convincing.

MYSTERY TUNE ... Well, maybe not so much. "Hurricane Dave," a local musician, has written and produced a song titled "Please Don't Ask Me About Her." He won't say who it might be about, but it's got lines like: "our love was a bridge to nowhere," and "she left me in the middle of our song."

"It's a country song about love gone bad," is how he puts it.

NEW NORTH STAR ... Have you seen the new Mariah Carey commercial for AT&T? Actually, Mariah is hardly in it. The character, dubbed "the assistant" by the ad agency, is the real star. And he is played by actor Dan Bittner, son of Anchorage lawyer Bill Bittner and nephew of Catherine Stevens. The kid looks like he's on his way. Ear is told he lives in NYC and has a part in the just released Jamie Foxx flick, "Law Abiding Citizen."

JUST KIDDING ... Ear is hurt not to have been invited to the Boss's Day bash at the Department of Law, criminal division's Anchorage office, pulled together by the secretaries. It was a "Woodstock" theme party, office neighbors report, featuring tie-dyed tee shirts, headbands, fake marijuana plants and goodie bags with drug paraphernalia and blotter acid -- also fake, Ear assumes.

FAMILIAR FACE ... Was that our Michael O'Callaghan, front and center in an Oregonian newspaper photo, camped in front of Portland City Hall, protesting an anti-homeless law that bans unauthorized camping. Yes, it was, although they apparently call him "Mike" in Oregon.

Compiled by Sheila Toomey Find Ear online at Find Sheila at or 257-4341.

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