PAGE 102 . . . Darlings, Ear really is trying to resist Sarah items, being personally sick of them, but the suction is irresistible. For instance, Slate, the online magazine, is publishing excerpts from "Going Rogue," including what they have labeled the book's single worst sentence.

It's strictly a matter of opinion of course, but Ear finds their choice eminently cringeworthy:

"As the soles of my shoes hit the soft ground, I pushed past the tall cottonwood trees in a euphoric cadence, and meandered through willow branches that the moose munched on."

"Euphoric cadence?" Ecstatic Ear would like a hit of whatever she's using. Anyhow, you can try your hand at purple prose and enter Slate's "Write like Sarah Palin" contest.

STARWATCH, NOT . . . In case you missed the "Entertainment Tonight" report, Levi Johnston reportedly had Thanksgiving dinner at the home of his attorney and agent, Rex Butler, with the cameras rolling.

How long do we think it will take for outlets like "Entertainment Tonight" to turn on Levi?

THE SUM OF ALL THINGS . . . It's admittedly early, and Ear is obviously biased in favor of Our Favorite Good Morning Newspaper, but a headline on www.adn.com Wednesday summed up 2009 in a way unlikely to be topped:

"Poll: Public wants more health care coverage, less Palin"

THE WHOLE TRUTH . . . When Uncle Ted was in the Senate, he had long coattails. And now that he's a former felon, he still has a long reach.

Recently, in a pretty routine meth/gun case, federal prosecutors in Anchorage -- seeming a little woebegone according to one earwig -- carefully questioned prospective jurors about whether the behavior of other federal prosecutors in the Stevens corruption case would prejudice them against the government.

You'll remember that prosecution misconduct led to dismissal of Ted's conviction and to an ongoing investigation of the people who charged him.

Anyhow, juror response was all over the board. One lady said she'd have to listen really carefully to the prosecution's claims. A bunch nodded in agreement but a few hailed the feds for taking Stevens down and said it should have happened years ago.

When the trial was over, the defendant was acquitted on the major counts, convicted on a minor charge.

GO WEST YOUNG BREW . . . A returning junketer reports there's a sign in the window of an unoccupied commercial space in Kona that says Humpy's of Alaska is coming soon. The alehouse's Web site says its Kailua-Kona bar could open as soon as January.

ONE FOR THE HOME TEAM . . . People with letters after their names say Bernice Joseph, vice chancellor at UAF, is one of the finalists for president of Alaska's most invisible university, APU. She's the only finalist from Alaska. Of course, Bernice currently manages five or six rural colleges and may not be attracted by an offer to run just one campus.

RSVP. . . Local activist Chris Constant is organizing a "training" campaign aimed at electing an openly gay or lesbian candidate to office. In its 50-year history, Alaska has certainly had more than one gay or lesbian legislator or assembly member, but apparently none who was out of the closet.

Anyhow, Ear noticed the press release about a fundraiser Monday because it came with a request that supporters send an invitation to Jim Minnery of the anti-gay Alaska Family Council.

Hey, folks. Better be careful. He might show up.

OUT AND ABOUT . . . It was a dark and stormy night in Port Hadlock, Wash., last Saturday. Simon Lisiecki, a former BP vice president here, now learning a new trade at the North West School of Wooden Boat Building, was dining with his wife, Petra, Anchorage Rep. Mike Doogan and his wife, Kathy. They chose the Ajax Cafe for its seafood, not for the funny hats it encourages customers to wear.

The four of them were enjoying a quiet, hatless meal when a large group arrived, headed by none other than Anchorage radio ranter Eddie Burke, who was soon wearing a hat earwigs described as a black clown wig.

Now, Port Hadlock is a tiny burgh on the Olympic Peninsula. It's not the end of the world but, like Fairbanks, you can see nowhere from there.

"Of all the gin joints ... in all the world. . ."