Q. When the economy fell apart last fall, I wondered if my business would survive. One day I went to lunch with two guys I liked who ran competing businesses. We'd known and liked each other for years and despite our competitor status we passed on business to each other on an honor system when any of us got overloaded or realized a project better fit one of the other companies.

All of us were hurting and expected things to get worse. We decided to merge our three companies so we could save administrative costs and present a stronger image, thus capturing more clients and projects. We worked with an attorney to create a partnership and agreed we'd split profits and managerial duties in thirds in our new company.

I really like one of my partners. He's a go-getter. My other partner, "Carl," doesn't seem to get that what he does hurts everyone else. Although the one partner and I arrive before 8 a.m. every day, Carl saunters in at 9 a.m. and seems to think arriving when he wants is one of the perks of being an owner. I worry about what our employees think. How can we discipline them for being late when one of the bosses arrives at 9?

Carl doesn't try to mentor any of the employees, either, and as a result those who work on projects with him need to go to him whenever they run into glitches. This might make Carl feel indispensable but it means we have to build too much of his higher-priced time into projects, and thus we have a harder time getting government projects. The other partner and I leverage our time and are hopefully building a stronger company.

As you can guess, the two of us are wondering if we should boot Carl out, but we hate to lose the real talents he brings to the table.

A. When companies merge, the owners need more than an on-paper agreement; they need a real partnership. If you want to make this situation work for all of you, lay on the table all problematic issues and collectively work through them.

Many partners resist these gut-wrenching conversations and instead swallow irritations, allowing problems to fester until the partnership becomes "in name only" or falls apart.

Misunderstandings and "sole proprietorship hangover" complicate your situation. For example, I doubt Carl wants to feel indispensable. Instead, Carl probably doesn't realize how he needs to change and that he runs his section of the company like a fiefdom. On the day your three businesses merged, "sole" vanished. Small business owners who want to graduate into leaders of larger companies need to move from an "it's all about me, I am the kingpin" to a "we are a company" team mentality.

Carl also needs to understand how much his late arrival costs. When he shows up late, he forgets he is a role model for the effort he expects employees to put forth. Further, Carl doesn't realize how much you, your other partner and your clients resent his lack of on-time arrival because you bite your tongue.

This brings us to what you need to do to move forward. You and your fellow owner need to step up to the plate. The two of you and Carl came together based on mutual needs and because you like each other.

Now, take the next step. How do you intend to jointly shape your company? What do you want to be true about your partnership? If you want honesty and work ethic, give it and ask for it. If you don't, you might never get what you want.