Our view: Choose respect

That's why Gov. Sean Parnell launched the "Choose Respect" campaign against sexual assault and domestic violence. A major part of that campaign aims at the attitudes and behavior of Alaska's men and boys, because most -- not all, but most -- perpetrators of domestic violence are men.

This campaign is not political. Domestic violence is a scourge Alaskans across political, ideological and social spectrums must oppose. The governor proposed and won passage of legislation aimed at sexual and DV offenders during last legislative session, but the real difference he wants to make is to "change hearts and minds." That's the key to prevention, the key to pre-emption and the way to a better Alaska.

What "Choose Respect" aims to do is change attitudes and end secrecy about domestic violence in the same way that groups like Mothers Against Drunk Driving changed the way we look at drunken driving. A generation ago the offense was shrugged at. Not taken seriously. That's changed. Now designated drivers and friends taking keys from inebriated friends or relatives are common. The problem hasn't gone away; people still drink and drive, but they're no longer excused with a wrist slap, and the social mores stand against it. You'll get no sympathy for hurting someone if you drive drunk. Nor should you.

That's the kind of change Choose Respect aims to make in Alaska. Change the standards and don't let violence grow in the dark. Make it clear: Men don't hit women. Men don't hit children. Men use their strength to protect, to help, to teach. Men don't excuse or shrug off abuse by other men. Men can be angry, frustrated, struggle with all the friction that comes with relationships, look to heaven or their partners and wonder why -- but never resort to violence.

When you lose control to that extent, pervert strength into oppression, you're no longer a man. You're something less.

The standards are already there for many men in Alaska, men who were raised from boyhood to understand that you don't hit girls, you don't hit women, that the measure of a man has more to do with self-control than self-indulgence. But not everybody has been raised that way and we live in a culture that constantly contradicts itself, that sends us messages about equality and decency along with violence, fear and exploitation.

So the good message, the message about genuine manhood, has to be clearer and stronger.

And, judging by our rank, no state in the nation needs to hear it more than Alaska.

BOTTOM LINE: There's more than one way to choose respect and counter sexual assault and domestic violence in Alaska. More information is available at www.alaskamen chooserespect.org and http://gov.alaska.gov/parnell/priorities/choose-respect.html