Alaska Ear

The divine appendage

Published: January 15th, 2011 11:39 PM
Last Modified: January 15th, 2011 11:40 PM

NOWHERE BUT UP . . . Well, darlings, it's been a depressing week. After the Arizona killings came the rush by some Democrats to blame the shooting on the mean-speak of people like Our Sarah. A quick scan of the shooter's online rantings left little doubt that he was a young man disintegrating into psychosis. (We've had our share of similar types -- remember the guy who carved up kids at Mountain View Elementary School or the Mariel boatlift refugee who stabbed his roommate to death downtown, convinced he was from outer space?)

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Anyhow, Ear is on Sarah's side this time. One good thing is that lots of Americans didn't buy the knee-jerk accusation. According to a USA/Today Gallup Poll taken Tuesday, 42 percent said nasty right-wing rhetoric played no part in the shooting.

THEY'RE SORRY . . . In case you haven't noticed, the Alaska Legislature, bless its heart, is back in Juneau.

Earwigs report the House Majority Caucus is scheduled to meet today to consider whether to let the Love Caucus back in. Readers will recall that Reps. Kyle Johansen, R-Ketchikan, and Charisse Millett, R-Anchorage, stormed out of the Caucus last year when Charisse didn't get the committee chairmanship she wanted.

As a result, the two, who are both now single and have denied being a couple, got cut out of the power loop. Charisse's constituents apparently didn't care, but Kyle's threatened to recall him.

Anyhow, Ear is told it takes 14 votes to let them back in, and approval is no sure thing.

A QUESTION . . . Is Joe Miller going to lick his wounds by relocating to Mat-Su and run for office there, where they really appreciate him? The rumor-mongers point out that he says he's not re-opening his Fairbanks law office, so how's he going to make a living in The City on the Edge of Nowhere? Ear is pretty sure his old job at the North Star Borough isn't available.

And by the way, have you ever heard a more graceless concession speech than Joe's refusal to congratulate Lisa because he thinks she cheated? Yikes! She got more than 100,000 Alaskans to write in her name.

IT'S NOT HIM . . . Daily News rural affairs reporter Kyle Hopkins swears that the Kyle Hopkins who keeps showing up on police reports in Fairbanks is not him. Really, d'Ears. Ear checked court records, and the Fairbanks Kyle is 27 years old. Our Kyle won't be seeing 27 again in this lifetime. Yes, our Kyle used to live in Fairbanks, but it's still not him. Honest.

CHANNEL CHANGES . . . Earwigs report Channel 11 is moving popular early-morning anchor Lauren Maxwell to its regular news operation as a reporter, which means they're looking for a new morning person, according to Assistant News Director M.J. Thim.

Reporter Karina Petersen, who anchors the weekend news, is leaving the station, which means the weekend spot is also opening.

Over at Channel 2, they seem happy with morning anchors Sheila Balistreri and Todd Walker but have hired a new producer, Clinton Bennett. Clinton was one of the Channel 11 people who got canned in the absurd over-reaction to that open-phone screw-up -- when someone failed to hang up after talking to the Miller campaign, allowing campaigners to hear jokes made about Joe by several Channel 11 staffers.

Oh, gosh, media people making fun of people they cover -- stop the presses.

PRODIGAL SON . . . Nick Coltman, who started and then sold the Anchorage Press, is returning to the weekly as a consultant on sales and editorial content. Nick said he expects his community contacts will help on the business side of the operation, but his real interest is working with staff to develop story ideas.

This is good news. The Press has lost some of its trademark edginess. Maybe Nick can bring it back. And, as previously mentioned here, David Holthouse is also back in town, which bodes wells for all kinds of exposés.

Nick said he and his wife will continue to operate their downtown furniture store, Indigo.

MEA CULPA . . . In an item last week about a name change at the law firm now known as Clapp, Peterson, Tiemessen, Thorsness & Johnson, Ear mistakenly referred to attorney Linda Johnson as a "guy." She is definitely a woman. Ear is sorry.

FLYING FACTOID . . . Caffeinated earwigs report that CalGirls, the drive-up coffee place at Tudor and Old Seward, is donating all the money it takes in Monday to the Mat-Su animal shelter to help pay for the care of all those abused dogs. (It's the place in the Holiday parking lot across from the Alaska Fur Exchange).

PERRY MASON MOMENT . . . It happens a lot on television but not that often in real courtrooms -- the evisceration of a witness by the examining attorney. This happened last week in the assault trial of an accused gangbanger Mavaega Brandon Tautua, who denied he was in a gang. The red Boston Red Sox jacket he wore wasn't gangsta garb, he said. He was just a devoted Red Sox fan. Prosecutor Jay Fayette seemed doubtful in cross-examination:

Fayette: "Sir, I know someone you might know. Who is David Ortiz?"

Defendant (looking puzzled): "I don't know that guy."

Fayette: "OK. Let me ask you if you know another guy: Carl Yastrzemski?"

Defendant: "No."

Fayette: "Ted Williams?"

Defendant: "No."

(By this time some jurors are laughing quietly).

Fayette: "Sir, the Red Sox play at a park in Boston. Do you know the name of that place?"

Defendant: "No."

Fayette: "It's called Fenway Park. There is something unusual about the left field wall there. It is a strange color. Do you know what color it is?"

Defendant: "No."

Needless to say, the jury convicted Mr. Tautua. It was probably just his bad luck that Fayette went to Boston University Law School.