Alaska Ear

Let's see. Who's on KBYR these days? Sean Hannity, Glen Biegel, G. Gordon Liddy, Laura Ingraham. Oh yeah, Fagan would be right at home there.

AND THERE'S MORE . . . The fun just keeps on coming. A Facebook message sprayed across the ether by one "Amy Walker" invites us all to contribute money to buy Joe and Kathleen Miller tickets on the big "Christian-based . . . Alaska Freedom Cruise" headed for Southeast in June. That's the one featuring "Special Guest Host Gov. Mike Huckabee" (actually ex-governor of Arkansas, Fox commentator and presidential hopeful).

Wow. A chance to spend eight days on a boat not just with Mr. Huckabee, but Honor Code Joe, too. Ear can barely handle the excitement. Please say drinks will not be limited to tea.

Walker appears to be a Miller activist currently involved in something called "Team Huck." Her pitch was addressed to people "who want to bless Joe & Kathleen Miller." The Millers are dying to meet Huckabee and personally thank him for his support of Joe's U.S. Senate race, it says. $100 from 35 people will let them do that. By March 15 please.

An added note that may or may not be from Amy assures those who want to bless Joe: "The $850,000 that the Daily News reported that Joe has left from the campaign cannot be used by him for anything personal and only for a future campaign. That press made everyone not want to give and even some people asked him for refunds! Can you believe that??"

Oh no! Some tea partier on a pension who sent Joe $50 thinks maybe Joe could reimburse his no-longer-needed contribution from the $850,000 Joe has left over? Ear can't believe how selfish some people are.

"GOD works in Wonderous (sic) ways," says Amy, "so we know if He would so have it we can raise the needed funds easily in 2 weeks!"

Rats. Ear was thinking of asking God to cure cancer, but it looks like he'll be busy.

ICE IN HELL . . . It's melting in Anchorage, but hell obviously froze over this week. The Republican Party issued a press release expressing "sincere support" for Anchorage Democrat Rep. Sharon Cissna for refusing to let TSA feel her up after their magic scanner revealed she'd had a mastectomy. It quoted Mr. Republican himself, Chairman Randy Ruedrich: "This kind of treatment of a breast cancer survivor is appalling."

As for Sharon, it's not clear from the babble-speak of TSA, but it appears they insist on fondling whatever's in the space where a cancer victim's breast used to be. Earwigs wonder if they have the same rules for survivors of prostate cancer.

ON THE MOVE . . . After 14 years with Chugach Electric, Carol Heyman is retiring from gainful employment; earwigs say she'll continue her volunteer work. Heyman had a job with a long fancy title but reporters dealing with Chugach knew her best as "spokeswoman." Ear suspects she's retiring because she's already gotten every community honor in existence -- president of the Chamber, Alaska Regional board, a Gold Pan, honored museum money-raiser, the Athena Society, yadda yadda. Really, d'Ears, how many laurels can one woman wear?

Lisa Murkowski press aide Michael Brumas has moved right -- right into the enemy camp. He's now working for Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Earwigs will remember McConnell stripped Lisa of her leadership perks when she decided to run a write-in campaign against Joe Miller. And McConnell reportedly hasn't been thrilled with her new independence.

UNALASKA POLICE BLOTTER . . . 02/19/11 Sat. 13:38. "Assault -- A man reported he was assaulted by the captain of a fishing vessel after the captain walked in to find him engaged in sexual activities with a woman whose name he never learned. The captain pushed the man to the floor several times before striking him in the back of the head. Under investigation."

1/31/11 Mon. 16:29. "Domestic Disturbance -- Three grown men engaged in chest-thumping and name-calling as they searched in vain for a solution to the insurmountable dilemmas of their working different schedules and sometimes making noise upon entering their shared room."

Compiled by Sheila Toomey Find Ear online at www.adn.com/ear. Message Sheila at ear@adn.com or 257-4341.