JUNEAU . . . Just how do we describe the condition of the Alaska Legislature? "A persistent legislative state?" "Electile dysfunction?" Send your suggestion to email@example.com.
Two weeks now. Is anyone still down there? Of course they are, and they're doing important work. Just last week they passed HB 98, which "establishes accepted protocol relating to the display, folding, presentment, and retirement of the state flag."
Yes, d'Ears. We now have a law about how to fold the Alaska flag. Thank goodness. Ear was so confused.
Not that it matters, but did one senator really take off for the past two weeks? That couldn't happen, right? It's probably not true, right? And if it is true, that person won't get paid for the time away, right? They could? Nah, that can't be.
DO SEND A FONDU . . . To Anchorage Assemblyman Ernie Hall, who is getting married May 14 at Gloria Dei Lutheran church. The bride is Sandy Vandergaw, a retired Anchorage teacher. Ear felt obliged to sound a note of concern when Ernie said he'd be taking his new wife to the Kenai for their honeymoon. Not Paris or Rome or even Palm Springs?
Not to worry, Ernie said. He has a place on the Peninsula, and "it's not exactly roughing it."
WHOOPS . . . What well-liked and respected Anchorage police sergeant with a Hispanic surname is reportedly no longer returning calls from KTUU-Channel 2 after the station mistakenly used video identifying him as the officer charged with being an illegal alien? Do all Hispanics really look alike? Ear thinks not.
EDGE OF NOWHERE . . . An earwig with the requisite amount of humor, sarcasm and writing chops reports this Ear moment:
"So I'm watching Wheel of Fortune last night, and the puzzle theme is Same Name, and the puzzle answer is 'Fairbanks and Baked Alaska.' The poor dear who finally solved it had a heckuva time figuring it out until the entire word "Fairbanks" was filled in. When Pat Sajak congratulated her on solving the puzzle, she looked at him and said, 'I don't know what a Fairbanks is.' And all I could think was, 'You're not alone, honey. Not by a long shot.' "
SAVE THE DATE . . . The Libertarian Party is holding its convention in Anchorage on May 7 at the Golden Lion Hotel.
Hey, Ear doesn't want to hear any lip. Many Libertarians are fine people (not counting those psychos in jail in Fairbanks). However, Ear did pause over the list of guest speakers:
Tom Fink on "Alaska School Choice," and Bob Bird, "constitutional scholar."
Check www.alaskalibertarian.com for more information.
SORT OF RADIO . . . Camille Conte, better known in Anchorage as radio host CC and most recently of KUDO, has a new show. She calls it "New Thought Talk Radio," and it's on the Co-Creator Radio Network. Which is not actually radio but an online network. Check it out at www.co-creatornetwork.com.
RIGHT THERE WITH YOU PAL . . . From the Unalaska police blotter: "4/20/11 Wed 19:13 Disorderly Conduct -- Unisea Security requested assistance with a restaurant patron who had become confrontational after being told he could not have a to-go box for food from the all-you-can-eat buffet. The patron was eventually issued a trespass advisement."