A Daily News article on Memorial Day featured the 'Good Grief' camp in Virginia for grieving military children. It brought awareness to the very real experiences, isolation, confusion and sadness of grieving youths. These experiences are universal. Fortunately Anchorage has programs to support local grieving children and teens. These programs are made available at no charge thanks to generous donations from community members and dedicated volunteers.

Hospice of Anchorage offers a year-round Forget Me Not Grief Program as well as an annual weekend grief camp, Camp Erin Anchorage. Children and teens, of either civilian or military families, who have lost a special person in their life to death by any cause are welcome to participate.

These programs offer kids a chance to normalize reactions of grief as they share time with peers in the same life circumstance. Research shows that unresolved grief in children can lead to depression and other health challenges later on. Research also shows that children are particularly helped by support groups.

Forget Me Not and Camp Erin are similar to many successful peer support programs for grieving families across the country. In Anchorage, about 30 families with 50 children meet twice a month with others their own age. Camp Erin Anchorage hosts 60 campers each fall. Both programs combine grief activities with friendship and fun. All groups are guided by trained volunteers and professional staff.

There are many stories that touch the heart and demonstrate the hope and healing found by children at Forget Me Not or Camp Erin. One child, who had been experiencing night terrors since his father's death, began sleeping through the night after attending camp. In another instance, a junior high girl who felt shunned at school said, "I can talk to anyone here. It's so great!" One 9-year-old shared, "Know what I learned? That I can still talk to my Mom (who died)."

In times past children were excluded from many aspects surrounding death. It was thought that "children don't grieve." For children and teens there is a desire to be "normal", so many grieving children stuff their feelings inside or try to appear all right. Their behavior, struggles with school work and "grief bursts" tell a different story. They are expected to "forget" and "move on", but the duration, intensity and expression of grief are unique for each individual.

Grief support through these programs is not just for youngsters. Adult caregivers are encouraged to participate in peer support groups and are offered information to support their efforts in caring for and supporting their own and their children's healing process. Kids do better when their grieving caregivers are able to model healthy grieving reactions.

What can we do as a community to help grieving children and their families find comfort and support while they do the work of grief and find a way to live in the new normalcy of their lives?

We can learn about how to help grieving kids. As caring individuals, we can reach out with acceptance and good listening skills to anyone in grief. We can contribute our time, talent or treasures to make these grief programs possible and relieve the stresses of daily life for a young widow or widower with small children. We can encourage a grieving child or teen whom we know to consider a Camp Erin Anchorage or a Forget Me Not experience.

Our community support for a grieving child and family will encourage the happy and healthy life that we wish for all our children.