TAKE A LETTER . . . Darlings, what's wrong with you? Why are you reading this column when you could be devouring zillions of Sarah's emails? Haven't you been waiting breathlessly for them? Really d'Ears, you don't know what you're missing. Did you catch the one about frybread being sold in the lobby? Wasn't there one about the parking lot being closed for snow removal? Or the computer repairman scheduled for tomorrow? Yawn.
All right, perhaps Ear is being too dismissive. Concerned about lack of proper attitude, the Omniscient Orifice checked with political commentator Michael Carey, who reports getting calls Friday from every set of media initials known: CBS, CNN, BBC, CBC ad nauseam. "What's in the boxes?" they all wanted to know. Michael was pretty amused by the fuss. Mostly it's just a governor doing things governors do, he said.
Alaskans already know about the sketchy stuff: Troopergate, the per diem fuss, paying for her family to travel with her, yadda yadda. Politicking about "the gas line?" Oh please.
Is it a surprise the lady, like most governors, was thin-skinned about media criticism? No. Are we shocked she recruited people to write letters to the editor, or maybe sign one she wrote? No. Did we ever think she and Don Young, Congressman for Everyone Who Voted for Him, were buddies? No. Are we surprised that she and Lyda Green didn't get along? Heck no.
Ear thinks Carey nailed it: People are looking for new and profound information about the Sarah Palin now making headlines in America, he said. The Sarah Palin in these emails is not that person. Sarah didn't morph into the incredibly rich and ridiculous celebrity addict until after the vice presidential race. Or, as Ear maintains, until aliens kidnapped the real Wasilla babe and replaced her with the Sarabot now making up stories about Paul Revere.
CUTE . . . An earwig reports checking out the book section at Sam's Club on Dimond Monday and discovering that someone has a sense of humor. The copies of Frank Bailey's book about Sarah offered for sale there were displayed in a separate set of shelves featuring the store's selection of fantasy novels about sorcery, witchcraft, etc.
ON THE MOVE . . . Matt Zencey, former editorial page editor for Your Favorite Good Morning Newspaper, starts a new job next month as assistant editorial page editor at the Philadelphia Inquirer. Theoretically, that gives him just enough time to finish the book he is writing about -- guess who -- Sarah Palin. It's billed as the "true story of her time as Alaska governor." He's got a publisher, but no release date yet.
LINEMEN . . . No decision has been made on whether there will be a court challenge. That's the official word regarding a lawsuit against the newly proposed reapportionment plan.
Yes, d'Ears, Ear is also amused. Has there ever been a redrawing of district lines that did not end up in court? (Can't we all just get along? Apparently not.)
Word is Alaskans for Fair Redistricting (AFFR) has already signed up Jeff Feldman, attorney to the stars, and his partner Susan Orlansky, for the fight. They handled the 2001 challenge.
KUDOS . . . Moira Sullivan, daughter of Tim and former state Sen. Susan Sullivan, niece of Mayor Dan, is one of 24 finalists in a huge Irish pageant in August that chooses "The Rose of Tralee."
Irish as in Ireland.
According to the website, Moira, 24, currently lives in Boston and is headed to Dublin to study for a master's in finance. Young women of Irish descent from around the world are invited to compete in the early heats of the pageant. Moira represents Boston/New England. It's a big deal in Tralee - five days of parades, floats, parties, the works. Check it out at http://www.roseoftralee.ie/v5/roses/international-roses.
KUDOS AND COOL . . . Attorney, reality star agent and bistro owner Rex Butler got to live that secret fantasy we all have -- to return home a hero. On Friday, New Brunswick High School (that's in New Jersey), from which Rex graduated in 1967, invited him back to induct him into its Hall of Fame for community service. He said it was a blast.
BLAST/PAST . . . Remember Winona Fletcher? She's the 14-year-old who, along with her boyfriend, murdered Tom and Ann Faccio and Emilia Elliott in their Russian Jack home back in 1985. This week the Alaska Court of Appeals turned down her request that she get a do-over of her prosecution -- 26 years later. Her lawyer argued that new science says adolescent brains are not mature at 14 (wow, really?) so she should have been sentenced as a juvenile, meaning free at age 20.
OMG, said the court. Are you nuts? Go away.
All right, that's not exactly how they put it. More like too little, too late.