Alaska Ear

Still, Mike is in the motivation-to-improve business, so he's been known to offer rewards to his teammates as an incentive to deliver more wins than losses. Last year, for example, he promised to grow a handlebar mustache and wax it and everything. Once again, he didn't have to pay off, which might have made him a little reckless.

This year, the deal requires the team to not just win more than they lose but to go at least 12 and 2. The payoff? Mike will get "a pastel unicorn" tattooed on his butt. (Pastel? Unicorn? Hey, Ear couldn't make this stuff up). Anyhow, a safe bet, right?

Alas for Mike, his team is now 8 and 2.

The team is understandably pumped. But this presents a problem for the rest of us: The idea of Mike having to get an ass tat is delightful, of course. But, who's going to volunteer to verify the unicorn is really there?

ON THE MOVE ... Earwigs say Annette Kreitzer, former commissioner of administration, has accepted a job as legislative aide in the Juneau office of first-term Rep. Alan Dick, R-Stony River. Annette worked for both Govs. Palin and Parnell. Before that, she was chief of staff for Lite Gov. Loren Leman.

Annette replaces veteran aide Sheila Peterson. Earwigs report Sheila has retired and is looking forward to gillnetting for salmon in Taku Inlet with her husband, a commercial fisherman.

HELP WANTED ... Miles Barker, former right arm to Sen. Bert Stedman, has moved to the Washington office of Sen. Lisa Murkowski. Stedman can find another arm but can Spank the Dog, the Juneau band of pols, find a new lead drummer?

OUT AND ABOUT ... Spotted Thursday at the Kotzebue airport, former UAA Chancellor Fran Ulmer and Environmental Conservation Commish Larry Hartig. Both VIPs were no doubt honored to be chosen by airport security for the extra hand pat-down screening.

MORE MOORE ... Political consultant and columnist Ivan Moore is teaming with ex-lawmaker, rental car executive and sometimes columnist Andrew Halcro for a new, two-hour call-in talk show on KOAN Fridays from 2 to 4 p.m. (It's the station where you can currently find Shannyn Moore.) Ivan says he and Halcro will each take an hour but not necessarily the same hour every week.

They're both high-functioning smart-mouths, so this could be fun. Their columns appear Thursdays in the Anchorage Press, so callers will have time "to digest our latest screeds," said Ivan. And formulate scathing responses, no doubt.

OUCH ... Intrepid ADN photo intern Steph Anderson is out of the hospital and mending after surgery on a broken ankle, the result of a fall taken while covering the July 4 Mount Marathon race in Seward. It was her last day on the job.

Darlings, has Ear not warned you again and again: Do not go outdoors unless it's absolutely necessary, for example, to get from the car to the restaurant. And climbing mountains? Are you nuts? Anyhow, get well soon.

DO SEND A FONDU ... Maia Nolan, who blogged about her impending wedding for, like, ever -- 18 months, anyhow -- finally got married last Saturday night at the Performing Arts Center. The bridegroom was second-generation Anchorage lawyer Seth Partnow, son of Peter Partnow. As might be expected given the auras of the star players, lawyers, judges and arts types were over-represented among the 300 or so guests. As part of the festivities, during a hora danced in the Lorene Harrison Lobby, the bride and bridegroom were hoisted in the air. Really. Way up in the air.

In addition to the usual nosh and wedding cake, guests were treated to a big all-candy "bar."

FREE FOOD ... And not even paid for by the government, if the announcement can be believed: The annual Governor's Picnic in Anchorage is set for Saturday, July 23, from noon to 3 p.m. on the Delaney Park Strip. The Mat-Su picnic is the day before, Friday, July 22, from 4 to 7 p.m. at the Alaska State Fair grounds. They've also got picnics set for Juneau, Aug. 18, and Fairbanks, July 24.

Compiled by Sheila Toomey. Contact Sheila at 257-4341 or ear@adn.com. Find Ear online at www.adn.com/ear.