Alaska Ear

The divine appendage

July 23, 2011 

FUN COINCIDENCE . . . A bunch of legislators and Parnell admin guys were in Portland this past week for a conference. Part of the schedule was a tour of the Portland port on a jet boat.

So they're all out on the water and what comes heaving by but a huge Crowley barge carrying two ginormous new oil rigs. One of the Anchorage legislators checked and was told they were headed for Prudhoe Bay.

Hmmmm. Odd, thought some, since our D'Ear Governor says drilling in Alaska is screeching to a halt because of those taxes he and the industry don't like ...

SUMMER LOVE . . . Darlings, political shenanigans may be scant during the summer but romance is in bloom. Ear is delighted to repeat rumors that Don Young, Congressman for All Alaskans Who Voted for Him, has rediscovered the attractions of Interior Alaska -- namely, Fairbanks. Don, 78 and a widower, is reportedly dating a Fairbanks woman. Earwigs describe her as "an age-appropriate widow," a retired nurse active in the Republican Women's Club. They apparently met last year at a Republican function there.

Ear says, good on him.

ON THE MOVE . . . Speaking of our favorite Alaska congressman, earwigs report his longtime spokeswoman Meredith Kenny is moving next month to a new job at the PR firm where Ethan Berkowitz works -- Strategies 360.

STEALTH WEDDING . . . If you had Sunday brunch at the Spenard Roadhouse on June 19, you attended the wedding of former exotic dancer, bodybuilder and Klingon warrior Pillow, the Queen of Spenard. Did you have a good time?

What, you don't remember throwing rice and counting bridesmaids? You obviously weren't paying attention. Here's how it went:

Most Sundays, Pillow, her longtime beau Earl Kubaskie, a tech illustrator, and a small group of friends have brunch at the Roadhouse, watched over by Orion, the bartender, who is also a musician around town and a pal. This Sunday didn't seem any different. Orion served drinks, then started taking orders -- "Anne, what will you have ... Kevin, what do you want?" When he got to Earl, he said, "Earl, what do you want? Do you want to marry Pillow?" Earl said sure. When Orion got to Pillow, still writing down orders, he asked if she wanted to marry Earl. She said yes and Orion said, "By the power vested in me," etc., etc., "you're married."

No one but the couple realized what was happening until Orion started waxing poetic about love. Huh, said the others? Huh? Pillow and Earl explained that Orion had gotten one of those special commissions that allow a regular person to officiate at a wedding and the couple was now, indeed, legally married.

Eat your heart out, father of Bridezilla.

Of course, there is one ticklish issue: Pillow doesn't have any legal last name so did she add Earl's? Is she now Pillow Kubaskie?

No, she said. Still just Pillow.

OOPS . . . An earwig who pays attention to such things reports seeing an early map of the booth locations for the Governor's Picnic/first Ted Stevens Day celebration Saturday on the Park Strip. He was amused to note that the booth honoring Uncle Ted was placed right next to a booth manned by the FBI.

Ear thought it was hilarious, but wiser heads prevailed. Daughter Lily was expected to make an appearance. The booth got moved.

NEW ASSIGNMENT . . . Erika Bolstad, who's been covering the nation's capital for Your Favorite Good Morning Newspaper for five years or so, has been reassigned by the McClatchy Washington Bureau to the Miami Herald, so watch for a new byline on stories from D.C. No word yet on whose it will be.

BUMMER . . . Remember the item about former Assemblyman Mike Gutierrez and his promise to get a butt tat if his softball team wins enough games? Ear mistakenly said last week they had to win 10. Erroneous Ear should have said 12. Sorry, not there yet.

DON'T ASK . . . License plate spotted at the airport: 29ISH.


Compiled by Sheila Toomey. Message Sheila at ear@adn.com or 257-4341. Find Ear online at www.adn.com/ear.

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