Friend spills beans about New Year's Eve party to his date

I was out the other night with a woman I recently started dating, and we bumped into my buddy and his girlfriend. We all talked for a few minutes, and they mentioned how excited they were for my annual New Year's Eve party.

Problem is, I hadn't mentioned it to my date. We quickly moved on to the next topic, but I'm betting she is bothered by it. I intentionally avoided telling her about it because it's too early for her to get to know my friends like that and vice versa.

We've only been on three dates. There's so much pressure and complication in that situation: making sure she's introduced to everyone, making sure she's comfortable while also focusing on food and throwing the party. Will she feel like she has to spend the night?

I don't want the headache. And isn't having her at my party a statement to her and my friends that we're "together" and serious? I'm definitely not ready for that. I have no idea how things will move forward with us, but now I feel like I almost have to extend an invite just to make sure things stay smooth.

-- Any advice?

Wayne says,

Just in time for the holidays: It's the Ghosts of Commitments Past!

Loosen up, buddy. It's a party. It's your friends and someone you're dating. It's no big deal. Champagne does a good job of making people comfortable at parties. In fact, you should try some. Now.

Guys like you are the reason males have "afraid of commitment" stamped on our foreheads at birth. You're also the reason men of all anxiety levels, including easygoing men like me, have to constantly convince the women we're dating that we are indeed serious about them and committed to being in relationships. Now that's a headache. The Scarlet Letter is not a good look -- thanks a lot for that.

You've got a woman who is content enough to hang out with you three times -- I'm guessing she'll survive a night with your friends. And if the New Year's Eve gods happen to smile on you, there are much worse ways to start a year than to wake up next to someone you're dating. Just ask the millions of awesome people who go without so much as a New Year's Eve midnight kiss. They aren't weeping for you during this "complicated" "situation" you find yourself in, and frankly, neither am I.

If she's crazy, or if you aren't crazy about her, dump her immediately -- it has been three dates, after all. If not, invite her to the party and try to get out of your own way long enough to have a good time.

Wanda says,

Talk about First World problems! I don't know that I've ever witnessed a man over-think something so silly to such an extent.

You feel like you "almost have to extend an invite just to make sure things stay smooth"? Haha! Wrong. You have to extend an invite (and probably an apology, at this point) if you want to keep seeing her at all.

If it's not already too late, that is. Chances are she's already been on the phone with no less than three girlfriends, relaying how she's gone on three dates with you but isn't invited to your New Year's party. No doubt they've encouraged her to move on because you're clearly just not that into her, and a weirdo to boot.

I mean, that's what I'd tell my friend if she were dating you.

It's just a party. You don't have to hold hands the whole time. Relax. This "pressure" you feel is completely imaginary -- you made it up. Worrying about things like whether your chip bowl is freshly stocked or if your lady friend has been introduced to your sister-in-law is a ridiculous waste of time.

If you're going to worry about something, worry about human trafficking. Wait, that might be a little too much for you. Worry about finding a woman who can put up with your neuroses. There, that's a good start.

• Wanda is a wise person who has loved, lost and been to therapy. Wayne is a wise guy who has no use for therapy. Send them your questions and thoughts at wanda@adn.com.