Alaska Ear

The divine appendage

January 7, 2012 

ANCHORWOOD ... Well, darlings, did you get your "non-transferrable" invitation to the premier of "Big Miracle," aka The Whale Movie? Ear's came attached to a beautiful poster picturing three whales topped by the three stars of the film -- Drew Barrymore, John Krasinski and Ahmaogak Sweeney, the Alaska kid actor.

But wait a minute -- where is Ahmaogak's name among those listed in the poster credits? Certainly not at the top with Drew and John. In fact, nowhere to be found. How low-rent is that? And after we gave the producers all that public money.

BTW, Artistic Ear was in a theater last week when they played a trailer for the movie. When Drew, clad in a fetching wet suit and scuba gear, jumped into a hole in the closing arctic ice for some reason, the audience burst out laughing.

JOE WHO? ... Earwigs were quite entertained by the tweet-bomb lobbed at Don Young by Not-a-Senator Joe Miller over the holidays. The apparent purpose was to raise money for Joe's Outside "Restoring Liberty Action Committee," using d'Ear Don as an icon of politicians Joe thinks he's better than. The press release whines about absenteeism, alleged corruption -- the usual Don stuff. Joe apparently hasn't spent enough time here to realize we just don't care.

Alaskans will be relieved to know that although "concerned," Joe "currently has no plans to run for Mr. Young's seat." Ear, however, is annoyed to hear that he's "keeping all of his options open regarding elective office." May the gods please save us from having to go through that again. Joe's got a date this month to speak to the Yale Political Union. Maybe he's going to run for president. We can only hope.

MAN OF THE YEAR ... Congregation Beth Sholom has announced that the winner of its 2012 Shining Lights Award is Byron Mallott. The award honors people whose careers are dedicated to repairing the world (good luck with that). The ceremony is April 26 at the Cook.

ALL PALS TOGETHER ... Earwigs invited to that too-terribly-exclusive luncheon with the Big Oil execs Thursday were hoping for some kind of substantive announcement, but, alas, came away disappointed. It was all very kumbaya, we love Alaska, we love Gov. God, can't we all just get along. The entire Legislature got the call, but Ear wonders how many of those who weren't already on the team put in an appearance?

CAN'T WAIT ... With the new year comes the new television season, and who isn't thrilled about that. Here's information sent to local media about an Alaska-based episode of something called "Brad Meltzer's Decoded."

"Starting next Wednesday (1/11), Brad and his team are heading to your home, the mysterious state of Alaska, to look into the existence of what is informally known as "The Alaskan Black Triangle," a mysterious area of Alaska that claims thousands of missing persons every single year and the government is trying to cover it up."

Thousands of people, every year? Really?

But here's Ear's favorite part: Guess where this Black Triangle is located: It's "a stretch of land between Juneau, Anchorage and Barrow."

Oh, well, that's OK then. Just a little area we can all avoid. Brad and the team are probably going to drive the highway between Juneau and Barrow investigating stuff and then sharing their findings with America on the History Channel.

ANDY REDUX ... It's probably not true, just because Ear thinks it's a fun idea, but gossips who have no contact with reality say former legislator and Republican gubernatorial candidate Andrew Halcro is telling people he's thinking of running again.

He's probably just bored, but it would be interesting.

ON THE TUBE ... Someone who might actually know says the Bonnie Craig murder story "has been scheduled" to air this Friday on NBC's "Dateline."

BALL PLAYS ... All-pro offensive guard Mark Schlereth, three-time Super Bowl champion and, more importantly, Anchorage-born, is debuting with his own ESPN radio show this coming week. OK, maybe SportsCenter anchor Mike Hill is going to be the co-host, but who cares about him, right?

Mark's been an NFL analyst for about 10 years, but this is his first nightly gig. And now his son, Daniel, plays for the Detroit Tigers. Go team! The show runs 7-10 p.m. EST Monday through Thursday -- and Monday through Friday after the Super Bowl.

IN THE AIR ... If you're in downtown Washington, D.C., anytime soon, tune your rental car radio to 1480 at 10 p.m. EST Monday through Friday and listen to our own Shannyn Moore. One hour of her local talk show has been picked up by station WPWC there and will be re-broadcast daily. It looks like earwigs who never leave Alaska might be able to find it online somehow. Check

Compiled by Sheila Toomey. Message Sheila at 257-4341 or Find Ear online at

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