How can company keep manager it didn't promote?

These two managers have always been competitive with each other. The one we didn't promote took the news badly and his performance hasn't been the same since.

Telling him the choice was close and that we think the world of him didn't seem to make things better. What do you think of giving him a raise?

We're not paying the promoted manager as much as the individual he replaced -- in part so we could sweeten the situation for the manager we didn't promote.

A. Money almost always helps. It doesn't, however, provide a competitive manager with the psychological paycheck he lost when his rival won the prize. If you want to see his performance soar again and keep him from looking for greener pastures elsewhere, find a challenge he buys into that carries with it a high level of esteem.

For example, can you name him to a company-wide task force dealing with an important problem, or make him a mentor in a talent development program? Give him a high-visibility goal, tie the raise to it and ask him to get back in the game.

Q. I promised myself I'd never start a small business like my dad because he worked day and night and never had time for us kids. But I got laid off and couldn't find another job and kept thinking about being my own boss.

Two months ago I started my own business. I think about it when I wake up in the morning and when I'm at the dinner table at night. Although I'm totally happy and feel I need to give my business 100 percent right now, I'm scared I'll fall into my dad's trap. How do I not?

A. No matter how much effort you put into a small business, it always needs more -- either you need to market to get more business or you need to put in time to finish the business you've landed. Unless you put on the brakes, the business consumes you.

Prevent this by stepping outside the daily flow. Ask, "Am I working too much?" If you answer yes, prioritize the tasks ahead of you and only handle the highest priorities.

Next, make time for your family and honor special occasions. If your child is starting in a baseball game or appearing in a school play, take time off to attend.

You can always make up for lost time by working late that night or getting up earlier the next day. Spend time with your wife and when you do so, be fully present -- no more thinking about the business at family dinners.

No matter what, communicate openly and honestly with your family, letting them know you occasionally may need to spend 10-hour days away from them. Assure them you care even when you're not there and take care to not make personal promises you can't keep.

Finally, if you can, involve your family in the business. That way, you'll have more time with them and they'll better understand and buy into what you're doing when you aren't with them.

Management/employee trainer and the owner of the consulting firm The Growth Company Inc., Dr. Lynne Curry provides columns to newspapers in multiple states. For questions, Curry can be reached at www.thegrowthcompany.com.