If the economy continues limping along or perks up a bit, Barack Obama -- whose minions and a willing media largely spin that news -- will become a two-term president. Why? Republicans do not have the sense God gave a goose.
In their ill-advised frenzy to spurn presidential hopeful Mitt Romney -- he's too liberal, too big government, too rich, too much hair -- they have clambered into bed with anybody they believe can knock him off instead of worrying about Obama. The truth is that Romney is too Mormon for them and, it turns out, the only Republican running who has a ghost of a chance with Middle America. That drives them crazy.
In their zeal, they have courted and kicked to the curb Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Texas Gov. Rick Perry, Texas Rep. Ron Paul and the now-fading-fast-again Newt Gingrich. We will not count entrepreneur Herman Cain, former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman, former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, Congressman Thaddeus McCotter of Michigan, the guy at the car wash or any others who surfaced in a blink and sank like Russian submarines. They were bees sent out to sting Romney and perish.
Today's sacrificial lamb in the GOP's quixotic quest to derail Romney is Rick Santorum: lawyer; Fox News contributor; Catholic; and, former Pennsylvania congressman and senator. He's a guy fixated on contraception and moral vicissitudes, especially in the realm of non-procreative sex, of which he is no fan.
Santorum was Mr. Nobody nationally until the Iowa caucuses, where he finished in a virtual dead heat with Romney, and is the latest Great Right Hope despite gaffes on subjects such as women in combat -- they should be sidelined, he says, because of emotions -- and his assertion that contraceptives are "harmful to women and society." Washington Post Columnist Jennifer Rubin says he lost Pennsylvania in 2006 by appearing "extreme and schoolmarmish, too far to the right of average voters. ..." She was being kind.
Unfortunately for those of us sure our nation cannot survive four more years of Obama, Santorum has as much chance of winning in November as my schnauzer, who cares not a whit about birth control. The slut. Then there is this chilling news: Obama in some polls has an approval rating inching up to 50 percent on a gasping, wheezing but not dead economy. He has the money -- perhaps $1 billion by November -- the incumbency, the organization and the backers to win a second term. So far GOP candidates have not laid a glove on him. They have been busy grinding each other to dust.
You have to ask: Why? Because Romney is Mormon? Really? The GOP would field a sideshow like Santorum?
Who cares whether Romney is Mormon, or if Santorum is Catholic or if Ron Paul worships toadstools? Who cares about a president's religion? All I want from a president is integrity, courage, intelligence, decency, loyalty to his or her oath and someone who will, unlike the current guy, protect the Constitution against all comers instead of seeing it as a petty impediment to a utopia. I want a president to be a better person than I, a person I could trust my sons' lives to, a person of character, someone who will stay out of my house, my bedroom and my pocket. Sure, it would be nice to see a president strolling to church on Sunday with a big Bible in his hand. It's reassuring on some level, I suppose. But if not, so what? It really does not mean much when it comes to character. We elected Bill Clinton twice, and he carried a Bible only for the cameras. Obama attended a church whose pastor hated America.
Rather than making it easy for Democrats, you would think the GOP would focus like a laser on Obama. After all, there are his constant insults to the Constitution, the bailouts, his crass usurpation of power for the executive branch, the nation's $15 trillion debt -- growing at more than $1 trillion a year. Then there is Obamacare, bought and paid for with Senate bribes, his imperial presidency, his nonexistent border policy, destruction of the middle class and Homeland Security. The list is endless.
Romney is not the perfect candidate. There is none. But he has a chance, maybe, if the GOP does not destroy him. He could, I think, beat Obama -- or my schnauzer.
She thinks he's handsome. The slut.
Paul Jenkins is editor of the Anchorage Daily Planet.