We aren't the only ones philosophizing on the logic of love these days. The mailman has been busy delivering reader responses.
If you want to respond to a recent column, point out a dating trend or ask Wanda and Wayne for wisdom on your love life, give them a shout at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our inbox was overflowing after the July 20 column ("Boyfriend doesn't allow his girlfriend any privacy") about the young woman who loves flirting with guys online and via text but is bummed that her boyfriend feels jealous and is stealing her passwords. We told her she needed to get away from him and grow up, quickly. Our readers agreed and were even more urgent in their warnings.
You are too silly to have a boyfriend; he needs to dump you before you drive him crazy-er.
-- Mrs. AmyLou
I've had this situation before. Turns out the guy was a compulsive cheater ... and imparted those behaviors onto me. It took the police (for unrelated things) to tell me he was going through my emails and my accounts when I didn't know. DUMP HIM.
I would run as fast as I could from this guy. Been there, done that. There is no justification for this type of control, which always escalates to abuse. Classic case.
-- Samantha Altoids
I agree with Wayne ... while your BF may be going overboard and is acting inappropriately, you are not helping matters and acting like a lady in a relationship. ... You can't change him, but you sure as heck can change you. Stop flirting with others -- you're not going to be relationship material until you clean up your act.
-- Maggie Pees Outdoors
RUN NOW!!! I was in a relationship just like that once, and it ended with a black eye. Dating a controller NEVER ends well; find a man that respects you and treats you right, otherwise you are set for a lifetime of abuse.
-- Lucy P
This is not a train wreck; this is the beginning of a lifetime of abuse.
WAYNE SAYS: Relationships are tough enough without being with a jealous and controlling partner or a partner who is constantly flirting with others. I hope that this young woman took a look at her life after writing us. If our words didn't convince her, maybe our readers' reinforcement will.
WANDA SAYS: Cheers to that. Sometimes once we know we need to make a change, we hover on that precipice for a long and lingering time before we finally take control and do what needs to be done. To the woman who wrote that letter, if you haven't cut your losses and escaped the control freak yet, perhaps the overwhelmingly supportive response of readers urging you to do so will provide that last push you need to take the leap.
WAYNE SAYS: And now on to our favorite topics: love letters to Wayne!
Wayne a "High Five" to you for your cut-to-quick response to "Woman finds boyfriend, but girlfriends aren't happy" (August 16). Wanda you do provide a balance to your team, but being a guy, I side with Wayne this time.
WAYNE SAYS: And a big high-five back to you, buddy. Unlike women, us bros stick together!
WANDA SAYS: Now, now, Wayne, put down that paint brush with its broad brush strokes. Loyalty is not a matter of gender and for every dude who's taken the Guy Code oath, there's a woman whose got her girls' backs just as ferociously. Growl.
WAYNE SAYS: Alright fine, here's a love letter to Wanda and Wayne ... Sorta.
Dear Wanda and Wayne,
I am writing to compliment you on what seems to be a changed tone in your answers to questions on Fridays. I've been gone for several months till recently, so I don't know if this is a deliberate and long-term switch or just a fluke, but your recent columns have presented quality answers from female and male points of view, with neither of you sniping at each other. I thought the sniping was a distraction and un-helpful to the questioner, disrespectful to each other, and unprofessional to your readers, or at least to me. You provide an entertaining and valuable service, in my opinion, and I hope you will continue to provide it without taking nasty little shots at each other.
- A longtime ADN reader
WAYNE SAYS: Well, we'd really be in great service if Wanda wasn't always such a softie. I swear, sometimes I don't know if ... Oh wait, that was the old Wayne talking! Keep up the great work, Wanda! And thanks for putting up with me.
WANDA SAYS: Heart you, Wayne. XOXO. And to the reader, thanks for that feedback and input. We appreciate you!
Fine, one more love letter ...
I love your column -- enjoy it every week -- and had to send kudos on today's Wayne and Wanda (Picking up women on the beach, June 28). I am an educated, cultured woman who is very happily married to one of the Alaskan goods that is odd, and it is easy for me to mistake the banter between W&W for a conversation with my husband. Keep up the good work!
WAYNE SAYS: An odd Alaskan dude lands an educated lady? I guess I do have a chance!
• Wanda is a wise person who has loved, lost and been to therapy. Wayne is a wise guy who has no use for therapy. Send them your questions and thoughts at email@example.com.
Readers have their say on some earlier columns