FLYING FACTOID . . . Now that all the votes have been counted, it's safe to report that the new Legislature has what might be a record number of woman lawmakers: 17. That's up three from the current crowd.
Breakdown: four Democrats and nine Republican women in the House; one Democrat and three Republican women in the Senate.
GIVE 'TIL IT HURTS? . . . Who was the lucky bidder who won the "Vasectomy Including Consultation" at the Jewish Cultural Gala auction last week? Valued at $1,458, it was donated by Alpine Urology.
Alas, the clip job was part of the "silent auction," so turkey-stuffed earwigs don't know who got it.
Probably just a coincidence that the offer expires on April Fool's Day, right?
ON THE MOVE . . . Public radio fans have been waiting anxiously to see who would be tapped for Dave Donaldson's old job covering Juneau and the Legislature for APRN. The announcement this week that APRN talked Unalaska reporter Alexandra Gutierrez into taking the assignment is a relief -- although bad news for Aleutian listeners who are losing her. Juneau pols concerned that some newbie from Outside was going to need a crash course in Capt. Zero, the Love Caucus and the Stoltze v. Hawker title fight can relax. Alexandra knows that stuff, and how to properly pronounce Valdez.
Said Ms. Gutierrez: "I don't think there are too many places where you can talk tax policy while wearing Xtratufs and still be taken seriously. ... it should be a good fit."
SHE . . . In our continuing effort to comply with the law requiring Alaskans to keep track of She Who Was Governor, the Divine Appendage checked Sarah's Facebook page for her post-election message to America. (No gagging, please.)
As expected, it was a hang-in-there exhortation complete with Bible passage reference. It also contained the following statement that elicited a "Huh?" from earwigs:
"Don't look to government or any politician to solve your problems. Government can't make you happy, healthy, wealthy or wise."
Excuse Ear, but who was Sarah Palin before she went to work for government? As far as Ear can tell, government gave her everything, including a career and the fame that allowed her to cash in with book sales and TV shows. Seems like government did make her happy and wealthy, and she sure looks healthy. Three out of four -- so what's she whining about?
IN OTHER NEWS . . . All right, enough of that. What Ear really wants to share is news that the Huffington Post resurrected that wonderful video of Sarah's 2008 Thanksgiving interview at the turkey farm in the Valley -- the one where a guy in the background is feeding live turkeys into a decapitation cone.
They call it "The greatest turkey related disaster in the history of politics."
HE'S BAAACK . . . M. J. Thim is back at Channel 11, brought on by the new owner, GCI, which is retooling the whole operation. Earwigs will recall that cablemeister GCI plunged into the broadcast world by buying TV stations in Juneau, Sitka and Anchorage.
When last heard from, M.J. was talking about moving south. Earwigs say he's claiming he was stopped at the border because of that FBI license plate on his truck.
CRUISING WITH CREATURES . . . They're doing it again: a vampire cruise to Alaska. The second such event is set for August-September next year and will feature actress Judi Shekoni, who plays Zafrina, the Amazon vampire queen, in "Breaking Dawn 2." Plus repeat "Twilight" actor Michael Welch.
It's on Holland America's Westerdam, starting Aug. 24 from Seattle, and costs about $1,100.
Oddly, the press release doesn't say when it returns.
UNALASKA COPS . . . Alexandra Gutierrez is leaving Dutch Harbor but thank goodness Sgt. Shockley is still there to keep us up to date:
Nov. 13 -- "Suspicious Person/Activity -- An amorous bloke who in a misguided attempt to attract a mate placed his genitals on full, flapping display in the roadway instead caught the attention of a passing police officer. The luckless lad was allowed to leave without charges since the intended victim couldn't be offended by what she couldn't see."
Compiled by Sheila Toomey. Message Sheila at email@example.com.