To any person who would like to receive taxpayer money: There’s a new way, if Republican Senate President Charlie Huggins has his way. Just start a school! It’s easy. Start in a house or apartment so you won’t have overhead expenses, gather a group of students aged 6-19, modify the curriculum generously supplied by the Anchorage School District (see www.asdk12.org/depts/cei/ ) and receive taxpayer money, maybe $5,000 per student.

Your educational program could consist of an hour or two of the academic basics each day, followed by your preferred practice: prayer, meditation, séance, animal sacrifice, etc. So listen up, all you Christians, Muslims, Jews, Wiccans, Scientologists, Survivalists, Pagans, Luddites, Satanists, and Neo-Nazis: Vote for the amendment to the Alaska Constitution so you can get your cut of taxpayer money, and say a little word of thanks for the wise and wonderful Charlie Huggins.

— Timothy Johnson

Anchorage