A friend of mine answered his phone this week with, "Palin for Senate."
I gasped before I laughed.
Oh, it's easy to make jokes about the former half-term governor's announcement that she's considering running against Senator Mark Begich in 2014.
"Senator Palin 2014 - 2015 ½!" I'd guess the late night joke writers have already contributed to her PAC.
Christine Pelosi (yes, her mom is famous) tweeted, "With Palin exploring a Senate run, It's Christmas in July for @shannynmoore."
It's true. If it weren't for Sarah Palin, you probably wouldn't be reading my column. I wouldn't have met a long-lost cousin, been flown to New York City to be on national TV, or met a lot of folks I've admired for years. Thanks, Sarah. I mean that.
But I'd rather go fishing than have Christmas in July.
Sen. Begich questioned her residency. She spends a lot of time at her home in Arizona. She quit. She's free to move about the country. I called the Permanent Fund office and asked what the last year she applied for a check: 2011, for the year 2010. I know, I know, she has gobs of money and maybe just didn't need it. Alaskans aren't required to file for the PFD but it seems like it's one of the few bipartisan things we enjoy.
She and her family paid a lot for the money she has.
Trust me, a Palin run for Senate would create, again, a whole cottage industry for Alaska. The national media would pour in and the face of the Republican party nationally would be hers. We'd become a frontline battlefield in a midterm election. Media groups are salivating. There will be more money flowing out of campaign troughs than air time and ad pages to buy. America's heartland would see an exodus of campers full of Palinistas heading north to be prayer warriors and boots on the ground for their hero.
The debates. Really? I just don't think I can take the word salad she spouts.
It's already started.
Begich tweeted, "I'd be happy to compare my record of fighting for #Alaska w/ @SarahPalinUSA but it wouldn't seem fair since she never finished the job. -MB"
He has a point. When Palin quit her job some of us were quite happy. (Clearly, we didn't realize at the time that her replacement would be worse.) Some people had stuck with her through the insanity that was the 2008 campaign and the disaster that was the legislative session of 2009.
Palin shot back, "Margaret Thatcher used to say, 'I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.' So, thank you, Mark Begich, for making me and others exceptionally cheery today! Mark, after looking at your voting record I can see why you are looking for a distraction."
It's amazing she's quoting Prime Minister Thatcher. When she was running for vice president it had to be explained to her that the Queen of England didn't run Britain. Steve Schmidt had to explain to her the democratically elected Gordon Brown was the one to talk to about a hypothetical withdrawal of troops from Iraq.
My dear Alaskans, these exchanges are national news stories. Are you ready for this? Am I the only one who longs for the days when people would ask about dog sleds and igloos instead of "Oh, you're from Alaska? You know Sarah Palin?"
I think Palin is serious about a Senate run. If life were fair, she would take on John McCain in an Arizona primary. Wherever she runs, her delusions of leading the Tea Party out of the wilderness are strong. After all, how are you going to position yourself to run against Hillary without a Senate seat?
Shannyn Moore can be heard weekdays from 6 to 9 p.m. on KOAN 1020 AM and 95.5 FM radio. Her weekly TV show airs at 3 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays on ABC affiliate KYUR Channel 13.