Bringing a family together

Betty Harper holds a photograph of her granddaughter Crystal Croft, 14. Crystal lives in Kentucky and suffers from brain stem encephalitis. Harper and her extended family are trying to move Crystal to Anchorage.

Betty Harper says she has the kind of family everyone should have.

She has four sons and a daughter. All four sons and their families live nearby -- in fact, she shares a home with two of them, as well as the cooking and babysitting. They share their lives and grandchildren.

"We're a close-knit family," says Harper. When one son got a new home, the rest of the family came over to install Sheetrock. Soon, Harper says, they'll get started on painting and wallpapering. They have fun together, too. "The boys" go bowling. "The girls" play darts.

Holidays are crowded and boisterous. And anytime a problem comes up, all the family members help out.

That's where Harper's request comes in. Her only daughter, Kellie Kaldor, is a divorced mother of two who struggles with finances and the care of a special-needs teenage daughter. Crystal Croft, 14, has brain stem encephalitis originating from an illness she had as a baby. Mildly retarded, Crystal takes nourishment through a stomach tube and breathes with the aid of a ventilator at night. Kaldor, an artist, works as a housecleaner to pay the bills.

If Kaldor and her family lived here, says Harper, they'd find a large supportive network of relatives willing to help them. Instead, they live in Kentucky, home state of Kaldor's ex-husband, and a place to which she no longer feels ties. She hasn't moved because of the expense and concerns about Crystal's care benefits.

For 13 years, Harper settled the situation by staying with her daughter, working as a truck driver and helping with Crystal's care. But recently, her sons convinced her to retire and move in with them. Now she'd like her daughter and family to join them.

She is familiar with the care her granddaughter needs and says other family members are willing to learn. Harper already cares for a son, 40, who is developmentally disabled.

Crystal needs round-the-clock care, says Kaldor. "She has to be constantly monitored by someone who needs to know what to do in case of emergency."

"If she was here, we could help her with those kinds of things," Harper says. "We can help her with Crystal and could possibly help her some financially."

Harper has spoken with several Alaska agencies that say Crystal will be able to make the transfer to Alaska-based health benefits.

Sooner or later, the move will happen, family members say. But at the moment, without help, it has to be later. Kaldor can't afford to move her family by herself. "We're all trying to scrape up our pennies," Harper says.

But if they had help with the plane fares, said Harper, they could afford to move Crystal and her family in time for Christmas.

"The rest we can handle," she says.

The family plans to pay Kaldor's shipping expenses and the cost of an apartment for a few months, until she gets on her feet. If she can't find an affordable apartment, they'll take turns hosting her in their homes.

"You would not dream how much I appreciate this," says Kaldor. "There's just so much we want to do, and so much I want to do for my kids and myself."

The family is waiting with anticipation for the holidays, says Harper's daughter-in-law, Amy Vukasin. "I think it's going to be wonderful," she says.

"I know I can count on them," says Kaldor.

Betty Harper

D-1 Airfare for three family members to come to Alaska, $1,912