THIS JUST IN . . . Someone identifying herself as a niece of the governor is selling Sarah's red Naughty Monkey pumps on eBay for $1,225. (These are allegedly the ones she wore at the announcement of her candidacy, not the red high heels from the VP debate).
The bid was at $1,200 Saturday afternoon. (According to an online check, new Naughty Monkeys sell for less than $100).
"I got the shoes from Aunt Sarah after mentioning that I liked them," the ad says. Size 7.5, open toe, 3-inch heels. "You could own a piece of history."
"These are the exact heels that made headlines," Aunt Sarah's niece promises.
GRILLED KITTY . . . The animal rights group Alaskans most love to hate tried to buy an audience with President Obama during the inauguration festivities Tuesday, according to The Wall Street Journal. Alas, the "inauguration package" PETA bought on eBay was sold (presumably as a fundraiser) by a Chicago nonprofit dependent on the largesse of Bernie Madoff, the billionaire thief all America loves to hate.
The tickets never materialized.
PETA wasn't the only unhappy loser. The nonprofit December Rain, which assists foster children with medical problems, closed after receiving death threats from angry auction winners. Or so the Journal says.
And what did PETA want to lobby the president about? Changing the name of "fish" to "sea kitten" so people won't want to eat them (one of their current crusades)?
No. They wanted to talk him into turning vegan.
STATE OF THE LANGUAGE? . . . We're "forging" the Yukon? Musk ox are "circling up?"
Oh, never mind. She's got more important things to think about.
WHO KNEW? . . . Everyone but Ear, apparently. Remember John Vezina, long-ago aide to Tony Knowles and Dave Donley? Currently working for our Kid Senator in Washington? Check out the Willamette Week Web site, which puts Vezina, a campaigner for gay rights, in the middle of that delicious sex scandal enveloping the mayor of Portland, Sam Adams. The WW claims John was the confidential source in the story. (So much for off the record.) But what most impressed the Divine (and superficial) Appendage was an assertion that he had an affair with the mayor.
FLYING FACTOID . . . Gov. Blagojevich said Friday he wants Ted Stevens to testify as a character witness at his impeachment trial.
BRUSH WITH GREATNESS . . . Acting Mayor Matt Claman went to D.C. for a Conference of Mayors last week and had dinner for six with Supreme Court Justices Ruth Ginsburg and David Souter. Ear knows this because Matt sent out a press release.
TRIVIAL PURSUITS . . . Sen. Linda Menard, who has taken Lyda Green's seat in the Legislature, has introduced a bill to make Feb. 2 Marmot Day in Alaska instead of Groundhog Day. (The Anchorage Press says she's also introduced a bill to add a second verse to the "Alaska's Flag" song, but Ear can't find that one).
Make up your own jokes, d'Ears. The chat is that her husband, current borough mayor and former legislator Curt Menard, once introduced the same bills. Ear likes Curt and prefers not to know if that's true.
HOUSE BILL SEX . . . It's probably unfair to put House Bill No. 6, about animal cruelty and filed by Rep. Bob Lynn, in the same category as Menard's bills. Hurting animals is a bad thing and people shouldn't do it. But an earwig reports that scripts are already being written for the Legislative Skits about the sections banning sexual abuse of critters.
For example: A person commits cruelty to animals if the person knowingly engages in sexual conduct with an animal, "photographs or films for purposes of sexual gratification a person engaged in sexual conduct with an animal ... causes, induces, aids or encourages another person to engage in sexual conduct with an animal," etc.
There are mentions of body parts that are too gross even for Ear, but you get the picture.
LET'S DRINK TO THAT . . . Occupants of an office across from Steve Levi's on Northern Lights were packing to move when he spotted a flat of Prinz Brau beer they planned to throw away. (This is a test: If you don't remember Prinz Brau, you can't call yourself a Real Alaskan.)
"Being an historian I salvaged it and asked the Anchorage Museum if they wanted it," writes Steve. "They already have one so I asked the museum in Juneau and they said YES! YES! YES!"
But there was a big problem: getting it to Juneau. Can't mail booze.
Steve called Alaska Airlines and they agreed to deliver it. Thanks to them, a piece of Alaska history is on its way, says Steve, who is executive director of the National Association of Social Workers here.
NOUVEAU NIGERIAN . . . Those online scammers from wherever have really streamlined their pitches. A well-known Juneauite got the following phony e-mail, pretending to be from Kotzebue Rep. Reggie Joule:
From: Reggie Joule [mailto:reggie_joule@hotmail.com]
Sent: Sunday, January 04, 2009 8:06 AM
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Subject: Urgent Request
"Sorry I didn't inform you about my traveling to UK for a program, am presently in London i am stranded here because i misplaced my wallet on my way to the hotel where my money, and other valuable things were kept. I will like you to assist me with a soft loan urgently with the sum of 2,350 GB Pounds to sort out my hotel bills and get myself back home. I will appreciate whatever you can afford, i promise to pay back as soon as i return, Please let me know. I really apologies because this situation makes me feel so embarrassed. Waiting to hear from you."
Needless to say, it was not from Joule. How they got his name and why they chose him remains a mystery.
The person who got the e-mail referred it to Pam Varni, who runs Legislative Affairs and who, one expects, made short work of the scammer.
ON THE MOVE . . . Guess who the new lobbyist -- sorry, "legislative liaison" -- and PIO for state Fish and Game is? Jennifer Yuhas, former executive director of the Alaska Outdoor Council (a pro-hunting group). Yuhas has been involved in several ballot fights over "predators" (not on their side) and at least one involving bear baiting. Ear seems to recall Jennifer has also worked for Fairbanks Mayor Jim Whittaker and Sen. John Cowdery.
INCOMING . . . So it looks like Larry Persily didn't make the final cut for Juneau city manager. Earwigs report he was the only Alaskan left from the original 33 applicants. Something about not enough experience?
Huh?
Let's see: Larry has been a reporter, editor (including at the ADN), and owner of a Southeast newspaper. He was deputy commissioner of revenue and recently finished a year as associate director of the governor's office in D.C. He currently works for Legislative Finance. Keeping the books for Juneau must be more complicated than it seems.
Finalists include the current city manager for Wethersfield, Conn., Bonnie Therrien; David Johnston from Rantoul, Ill. (nine years' experience at a city manager); former city manager of Kalispell, Mont., Jim Patrick; and former city administrator for Vernonia, Ore., Dick Kline.
Current Juneau City Manager Rod Swope plans to end his six years in the job by the end of April.
ON THE MOVE . . . Car-crazy earwigs report spotting Veco Bill Allen buying old vehicles at a Scottsdale, Ariz., auction last weekend. Part of the auction, run by Barrett Jackson, was carried on cable television. Ear couldn't spot him in the crowd shots, but if it was Our Boy Bill, it would be in character. He collects antique cars.
How nice for Mr. Convicted "Snitch" Felon to be able to fly around the country, being feted by strangers and spending large amounts of money. Personally, Ear finds it annoying to have to feel sympathy for Anderson, Kott and Kohring, even for 30 seconds.
Compiled by Sheila Toomey. Find Ear online at adn.com/ear. Contact Sheila Toomey at stoomey@adn.com.