THE PLACE TO BE . . . Just about everyone in town showed up Thursday night for the big multiple sclerosis fundraiser at the Marriott downtown. Organized by pollster Ivan Moore, who somehow convinced former newsman John Tracy to submit to a "roast," the event was by all accounts very entertaining (if you weren't John). Getting a chance to mouth off at someone who delivered the news for 20-some years brought out high-quality barbs from the smart-mouthed media and politics crowd, although it seemed to be mostly good-natured.
Earwigs say it also revealed that our new mayor has a wicked sense of humor, not readily apparent during sound bites about gay rights vetoes and the budget shortfall. Ear's favorite Dan Sullivan line went something like this:
"Before I came here tonight, I talked to the Marriott staff about what to do in case there's a fire. I told them, by all means call the Fire Department. Just don't tell them I'm in the room."
And, directed at Tracy: "He's getting old ... After years of working all day in a fast-paced newsroom and playing drums all night in local bars ... John's idea of an exciting night is watching his leg fall asleep."
And: "I think it's safe to say that the only way John is ever going to lose weight is if he is poached for ivory."
Darlings, these aren't exactly verbatim -- no one was dumb enough to tape it for Ear -- but this is Leno-level material.
PART II . . . Naturally, the above crowd couldn't restrain themselves, so others came in for some roasting. Ear's personal favorite, delivered by former Channel 2 reporter Jonathan White, went something like this: "When I left Channel 2, JT (Tracy) sat me down, as he does with everyone, and talked to me about the importance of integrity ... 'It's all you've got' he said. 'And once it's gone, you can't get it back.'"
Pause.
"So, John, I guess you didn't have that conversation with Meg Stapleton; she must have been out sick that day or something, huh?"
Ivan estimated the event, after expenses, will have raised $50,000 for MS.
NO REFUND, NO RETURN . . . The state Department of Law reported the following about Frank the Bank's infamous jet:
"An administrative law judge issued a proposed decision denying the contract claim filed by the purchaser of the governor's jet bought during the Murkowski administration and sold by the state during the Palin administration. The purchaser had sued for negligent misrepresentation, breach of contract and breach of warranty for his costs in complying with a manufacturer's service bulletin which came due three months after the sale of the jet. The ALJ found that the purchaser failed to show that there was a contractual requirement to provide a copy of the service bulletin and that any express warranties made in statements by the state's mechanics were not part of the basis of the bargain."
IN THE WINGS . . . With more people, notably Andrew Halcro and Rep. Harry Crawford, lusting after Don Young's seat, earwigs who make lists and check them twice say watch for Eric Croft to declare.
And is Jim Bailey, currently principal of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton School, planning a run for the school board?
IN PRINT . . . Check out the piece by David Holthouse on Humanities Forum chief Greg Kimura in the current edition of Humanities magazine.
A QUESTION . . . Did The Daily Planet online news site, run by former Anchorage Times editor Paul Jenkins, "appropriate" its legal terms-of-service agreement from adn.com? Maia Nolan has an amusing piece about it at AlaskaDispatch.com. Ear says, no problem. Sincerest form of flattery and all that.
OUT AND ABOUT . . . Earwigs know everything. The Divine Appendage inquired after our invisible AG last week and heard back that he's living in Anchorage and was spotted at the school his kids attend here.
. . . Tony and Susan Knowles were spotted atop Wolverine Peak last weekend.
GOTCHA . . . The Omniscient Orifice is embarrassed to report having been snookered by Rep. Jay Ramras over last week's item where he challenged Les Gara et al., owners of Snow City Cafe, to match his Green Star award for energy saving at his Fairbanks business, Pike's Landing.
Well, guess what, Snow City got its Green Star award three years ago.
Reporters, even lame appendages, understand that politicians don't always convey truth; so Ear, in an excess of due diligence, actually called Green Star to confirm that Ramras was indeed getting the award. And e-mailed Gara for comment. Alas, Ear did not think to inquire about Snow City's status and Gara didn't see the e-mail until it was too late.
Getting spun by some of the smart pros in the business is part of the game -- but Ramras? A guy best known for handing out hotel-sized hand lotion to female staff and formerly dating a teenager?
Ear is humiliated.
Compiled by Sheila Toomey. E-mail ear@adn.com. Find Ear online at adn.com/ear.