THE BAND PLAYS ON . . . Coming soon to a ballot near you, a familiar addition to the Republican Lite Governor primary race. Now that Campbell is out and Ramras seems to hold the edge, the right needs someone to vote for. Or so the story goes.
He's not Gov. Parnell's choice, Ear is told. We'll see.
• Does Ralph Samuels need to get out to the hinterlands more? After a campaign trip to The City on the Edge of Nowhere, Fairbanks earwigs checked in with breathless "news" about a "girlfriend." Ear got all excited until it turned out to be his long-time significant other, former Deputy Corrections Commissioner Portia Babcock.
Everyone is single, d'Ears, so cool off. Portia went to work for Conoco after Murkowski lost.
OUT AND ABOUT . . . The Gasline Guys showed up -- separately -- at Blues Central on Wednesday to see radio mouth Rick Rydell assume his alternative personality and play music for the capacity crowd. Rydell offered "Little Willy" by Sweet in honor of Republican gubernatorial candidate Bill Walker, but got stuck searching out a song for Ralph Samuels, Walker's competition in the August primary; and never mind checking the songbook for Democratic gubernatorial hopeful Ethan Berkowitz.
Earwigs report the three competitors chatted amiably. Rydell introduced them to the crowd by their gas line preferences: Bill "All-Alaska Line" Walker and Ralph "Bullet Line" Samuels. What's your gas line plan? he asked Ethan, who raised his beer. "Ah, the 'Alaska Amberline,' " said Rydell.
It got a laugh.
POKER EMERGENCY . . . Ear is told retired furrier Perry Green messed up and missed the entry deadline for this June's World Series of Poker. Now, since he can't play his way to the finale, friends say he has to collect 400 "votes" to win one of the remaining seats at the tables. You can vote online: check www.wsop.com. Time counts.
A QUESTION . . . Some Republicans in the Legislature were asking Friday afternoon why Gov. Parnell didn't mount an effort to save his Game Board nominee, Al (Wolf Skinner) Barrette. Ear is told Parnell was warned early in the day that the nomination was in trouble and given a list of waffling votes to call, but didn't. The Legislature rejected Barrette.
And why might the gov have decided to cut Al loose? If you haven't seen the YouTube video of Barrette skinning a wolf while explaining to a reporter how it's Adam and Eve's fault mankind has to kill animals for food and clothing (they sinned). Check it out at the attached link.
STILL GOLD . . . There was a second entry for "The Wit and Wisdom of Don Young, Congressman for All Alaskans Who Voted for Him" in that interview he did last week with KTVA's Matt Felling. Not as good as "I don't agree with what I said," but definitely save-worthy:
Asked about the Neanderthal who screamed "baby killer" on the House floor during the health care debate, Darling Don shared his philosophy of public policy discourse:
"I really think the straightforward approach to a problem is a lot better than all this 'My good friend, the gentleman from' " said Don. "Sometimes, I think it would be better to say, 'You're full of it,' and go up and smack the guy in the nose."
GLOBAL WARMING? . . . A Juneau earwig reports Gov. Parnell is getting the Governor's Mansion air-conditioned. It was apparently too hot last summer. And in case you wondered what happened to Sarah's tanning bed, the one the mansion had to be rewired to accommodate, Ear is told she took it with her. Thank goodness.
WELCOME TO THE WORLD . . . as we know it, Kylan or Kyland Anthony Patrick Grovier Flynn, son of Assemblyman Patrick Flynn and wife, attorney Tina Grovier. According to the Assemblyman, he and mom are still "discussing" the "d." And, as everyone knows, "anytime there's negotiations between a lawyer and a politician, you can expect it to take a while."
Flynn fils was born Monday, April 5, at Providence. He has an older brother, Kian, 5.
BATS AND BATTIER ... There's no sane way to say this. The Glacier Pilots want someone to legally change their name to "glacierpilots.com." In court, with a judge, paperwork, the whole deal. And leave it that way for one year. In return, they will get two season passes, a cool jersey and the fun of throwing out the first ball.
It's a serious offer, says Pilots GM Jon Dyson. However, Dyson admits he doesn't think the team's fans are quite that twisted. So, wait! There's more!
The same prizes will be awarded to anyone who gets the Pilots logo tattooed somewhere on their body between April 1 and opening day June 6. You pick the body spot, but you have to show it, and present proof, like a receipt, that you got the tat in the right window of time.
And how many prizes will be given out? As many as are earned, said Dyson. "The more the merrier."
NO COMMENT . . . The economy's going to hell. We have no pipeline. Education is a mess. Health costs are out of sight. And the House Judiciary Committee spent time Friday discussing the addition of a second verse to "Alaska's Flag."
Sen. Linda Menard thinks this matters. Rep. Jay Ramras led the room in a group sing.
BRUSH WITH FAME . . . America certainly discovered Butler coach Brad Stevens last week, including a funny bit on Letterman. But Ear is told Alaskans knew him when. According to Tim Melican, who runs the Magic Bus here, Brad was in Anchorage for the 2007 Great Alaska Shootout. At a lunch that included Bobby Knight and then-Gov. Palin, Knight called Sarah "very nice on the eyes."
When it was Brad's turn to speak, he said: "The difference between a coach in his first tournament and a hall-of-famer is, if I called your governor 'hot,' I would be unemployed before my lunch cooled."
Or words to that effect.
Compiled by Sheila Toomey. Message Ear at 257-4341 or ear@adn.com. Find Ear online at www.adn.com/ear.