Alaska Ear

GOOD-BYE . . . Cheryll Heinze, who died in a plane crash Tuesday, put up with a certain amount of grief from earwigs, many of whom were taken in by that girly-girl persona she wore, as befitted an Oklahoma gal. Actually she was a serious and accomplished artist, a tireless and compassionate do-gooder with a great sense of humor, including about herself. This being Ear, here's a fun remembrance, passed on by a Capitol staffer:

During her first year in the Legislature, Cheryll got very nervous about the upcoming legislative skits and how severely staff, who put on the annual shows, were going to trash her. Rep. Norm Rokeberg, House Rules chair at the time, agreed she was in for trouble and strongly urged her not to go, according to Cheryll. He jokingly offered to make the no-go recommendation an official order to save her from looking cowardly.

Needless to say, she went and the skitters really nailed her, including a dead-on impression by one of the performers.

Rather than slink off, or get mad, Cheryll marched up to the impersonator after the show and, in front of everyone, gave her a big hug and complimented her performance. Then she spent the next week describing the skit to anyone who hadn't seen it. She thought it was hilarious.

A QUESTION . . . How many emails did you get from people mourning the loss of their "close friend" Cheryll Heinze who spelled her name wrong? Ear got two.

TITTERING TWITTERING . . . Whoops. Who knew spell-check even had that word in its vocabulary. Here are two news alerts sent out Saturday, the second shortly after the first:

@Ch2KTUU: Developing: APD is working what they believe is an ongoing burglary at the Alaska Communication Systems whorehouse in Midtown

@Ch2KTUU: Developing: APD is working what they believe is an ongoing burglary at the Alaska Communication Systems warehouse in Midtown

The first tweet (as well as a Facebook update with the same startling news) triggered an immediate and sustained flurry of OMGs, LOLs, shares, retweets and giggle attacks. Ear's favorite response: "Hate whorehouse burglaries."

OUT AND ABOUT . . . Seen harvesting greens Wednesday evening at the City Market salad bar, Gov. Sean Parnell. "I'm making dinner tonight," he quipped to bemused constituents.

FACT: A FOUR-LETTER WORD . . . Cinematic Ear finally got around to watching the whale movie "Big Miracle." (Yes, d'Ears, the Laggard Lobe is right on top of all things pop-cultural.) You'll be happy to know that the scene where Drew Barrymore jumps into the Arctic Ocean as it freezes over, wearing scuba gear and no gloves, is still as hilarious as ever.

However, Ear couldn't help but question the director's commentary that said the Ted Danson character is based on Veco's Bill Allen, known to Alaskans, he claims, as "Billy Bob."

Huh? Did you ever hear anyone call Bad Bill "Billy Bob"?

BillieBob Allen is the other Bill Allen, the one who was director of USDA Rural Development here for years and more recently city manager of Palmer. He can't be too happy about the no-doubt-immortalized confusion.

ON THE MOVE . . . Looks like more changes at Channel 2. Matthew Simon is moving to North Carolina. Matt says his fiancé accepted a great job in an ER near Fort Bragg. The move is set for early August.

Earwigs say Ted Land is leaving Anchorage for a gig in South Bend, Ind., at the mother ship station of KTUU's owner, Schurz Communications. No word yet on his replacement.

Alaska-born Corey Allen-Young (Go East T-Birds), currently a reporter at Channel 11, will be Todd Walker's replacement as morning anchor on Channel 2. He moves to KTUU tomorrow and starts on-air when Todd leaves.

MERRY CHRISTMAS . . . Hurricane Dave and company do an annual program of holiday music to raise money for Special Santa, an organization that gives gifts and clothing to Valley kids. In previous years, "holiday" meant Christmas, which made sense, right? Special Santa?

This year, Dave decided to move the program to July. "There's so much going on in December that it's hard to get people's attention," he notes. So, Christmas music and a visit from Santa on July 20 at the Trinity Barn in Palmer. It's called the Jul'Yule.

Of course it is.

Free admission, donations requested.

WAS ALCOHOL InVOLVED? . . . A selection from our favorite police blotter, in Unalaska, where all those visiting fishermen and fish processors make life just a little bit less stuffy.

1. July Sunday -- 2120 -- A young man, whose friend who had been spit upon by a young lady, offered to shoot the young lady in the leg with a BB gun in retaliation. The injury to the girl's leg was minor and the young man was admonished for his attempts at rural justice.

3. July Tuesday -- 0204 -- Officers responding to a report of a fight in progress on a local dock found three bloodied and laughing men waiting for them. The trio told officers they were not fighting, simply wrestling like real men.

6. July Friday -- 2019 -- Two drunken, obnoxious men were arrested after the members of a herd of boors spit at a bartender, groped a security officer and refused to leave the Cape Cheerful premises. Kevin Wray, 52 yoa, was arrested for Harassment I and Christopher J. Rasmussen, 51 yoa, was arrested for Criminal Trespass II and Resisting Arrest.

Compiled by Sheila Toomey Message Sheila at and 257-4341. Find Ear online Sunday night at