Somewhere in Delaware, a sleepy village finds itself without an idiot as Vice President Joe Biden again is on the loose, tilting at presidential windmills.
Known in some circles as the Galloping Gaffe, Biden is Romney's second-best secret weapon, with President Barack Obama being the first. Unfortunately for Romney, Biden clearly is becoming a mouthy liability for the Democrats as he fumbles to focus the public's attention on anything but the broken economy.
His latest craziness? Biden told Virginia voters that Mitt Romney's policies would put "you all back in chains" by letting "the big banks once again write their own rules," the Wall Street Journal reported. Biden was referring to Romney's desire to roll back 2,300 pages of inane Wall Street "reform" foisted on America by Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., and Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., -- the uberbrilliant architects of the U.S. housing disaster.
The Virginia crowd -- uh-oh! -- included black supporters, and Biden's remarks immediately sparked a heated ancillary debate about whether he was being stupid or engaging in casual, but calculated, race-baiting. "It's far from clear that he misspoke," the Christian Science Monitor said.
The Romney campaign was smokin' hot, accusing Biden of hitting a "new low," apparently forgetting it was dealing with Chicago thug gutter politics.
Biden's goofiness did not -- could not -- stop with his chain rattling. "With you -- and I mean this -- with you, we can win North Carolina again," he assured the Virginia crowd. Huh? Go figure. (The guy is on crack. I swear. Somebody called me and told me, but I'm not supposed to say who.)
The truth is, Biden and the Obama apparatchik cannot stop. They even have stooped to hinting Romney evaded his taxes for 10 years (untrue), accused him of causing some guy's wife to die from cancer (untrue) and -- gasp! -- revealed he is rich. They simply look dumb, to Romney's advantage. It is all they have.
In one area, though, Biden may have a point. Perhaps we should be talking about chains -- the ones around our necks.
Debt? We could start with the chains on our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren caused by this nation's $16 trillion -- and ever-growing -- debt. How do we tell them that they -- and their children and their children's children -- are economic slaves? Taxes? There will be 20 or so new taxes amounting to $500 billion in the next decade alone, just to help pay for the new, expensive bureaucracies Obama's health care plan will spawn. It is the largest tax increase in American history.
Medicare? We could talk about the more than $1 trillion Obama siphoned from the Medicare trust fund. Pensions? We could talk about non-union auto workers stripped of their pensions so Obama could pay off his Detroit union pals. Obama and Biden do not want to talk about any of that. That want to divide and conquer, blame the rich, engage in class warfare.
People are out of work. The federal government's policies -- Obama's policies -- largely are responsible. We should focus on that, despite efforts to divert us with tomfoolery from Biden and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.
Being distracted by their idiocy takes our eyes off the economy and jobs -- the Democrats' Achilles heel. Biden and Reid would dance naked in the street if they could refocus our attention until November.
Conservatives and other rational people should fear that Obama -- himself expressing concern about Biden's "phrasing" -- might dump him. Vice presidential selection expert John McCain says it might be wise. So does Sarah Palin. Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani wonders whether Biden is fit for office, "whether he really has the mental capacity to handle it. I mean, this guy just isn't bright."
Obama has about three weeks or so to make up his mind. Nobody except Palin could be as much fun as Biden, who in a recent speech said, according to CNS News:
"Congressman Ryan and the congressional Republicans, as one person said, had all, have already passed in the Republican House what Governor Ryan is promising to give the whole nation.
"So in a sense folks it's almost like running against another incumbent, like two incumbents running. By that I mean, we know for certain, we know for certain what the Republican Congress has been proposing the last four years -- last two years has been Republican."
TrÃ¨s Palinesque. Biden must stay. That Delaware village? Tough noogies.
Paul Jenkins is editor of the AnchorageDailyPlanet.com.