Alaska Ear (11/18/12): Sudden death overtime


SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME . . . Looks like the Bill Thomas House District 34 race (R-Haines etc.) will be decided tomorrow or maybe Wednesday. At last count, Thomas and political newcomer Jonathan Kreiss-Tomkins, a Democrat from Sitka, were tied. If Thomas wins, he gets the last seat on House Finance -- coveted because that's where all the money is.

If his Democratic opponent wins, it becomes a minority seat and Scott Kawasaki, a Fairbanks Democrat, gets it.

And so it goes.

Ear was planning to explain how the seat got saved for Thomas and how Alan Austerman of Kodiak ended up co-chair of Finance instead of Mike Hawker, who seemed to have an inside track to that plum assignment. Alas, the story is way too long and byzantine, so you'll have to ask the players to explain it to you themselves. The takeaway from people who seem to know is that Bill Stoltze cleaned Hawker's clock, politically speaking.

OH, NO . . . That's got to be the reaction of any reporter with a brain to news that APD spokesman Dave Parker is retiring effective Dec. 31.

Relations between news people and cops are not always, umm, bump-free. Reporters want to know everything; cops don't want to tell them anything. It can be a problem.

Somehow Lt. Parker, a sworn officer, not a professional PR guy, smooths it all over. He's always available, especially on deadline. He's on TV more than some anchors. And he's so nice that when he says he can't tell you something, it seems reasonable even if it's not.

Parker explained to Ear that he's not retiring from life, just from APD. He and wife Margie, a retired teacher, are building a duplex in Wasilla with space for a nice big workshop (does he really repair heavy machinery for fun?). He's getting his teaching certificate updated. And he's probably negotiating with God regarding his status as a retired preacher.

Said Dave, "Mrs. Parker and I are off on another adventure."

VISITORS WE LIKE . . . Comedian Steve Martin was in town Tuesday and Wednesday to do a couple of shows here and commented on Twitter (of course he did) about us:

"People in Anchorage were so friendly! Fellow at airport changed all my US dollars for Alaskan currency so I wouldn't have to wait on line."

MISTAKEN IDENTITY . . . People magazine published its "sexiest man alive" issue this week. It's an annual ritual but this year they added a new wrinkle: a claim to have picked the sexiest man alive in each state.

Darlings, Ear couldn't help but notice the Alaska winner does not live in Alaska. Mario Chalmers, the NBA basketball star, lives in Miami, where he plays for the Heat. True, he grew up here and graduated from Bartlett but Miami is not Alaska, especially in November. Chris Chase's commentary in USA Today is a snarky explanation for the choice:

"A huge bravo to the biggest winner here: Mario Chalmers' publicist. There's not exactly a stacked field from Alaska (it's either Bristol Palin's baby's daddy, Mark Schlereth or a 1995 photo of Trajan Langdon) but getting Chalmers on the list is impressive nonetheless. If I'm Chalmers, I'm walking into the Heat locker room reading the magazine and casually asking LeBron and DWade where (I) can find their photo spreads."

JUST CHECKING IN . . . Since we are apparently required to keep track of what's going on in the lives of Palins, here's an update on TLB (The Lovely Bristol):

First, that wacko defamation lawsuit against Bristol got dismissed by a California judge. Earwigs will remember that some guy accosted her in West Hollywood and mouthed off about Sarah and Levi. In a pithy retort, Bristol asked him if he was gay. It's unclear if she meant it as an insult or was genuinely interested in his sexual orientation (well, maybe it is clear). She used tape of the incident on her here-today, gone-tomorrow Lifetime TV show "Life's a Tripp," which caused the guy to have hurt feelings. Or something.

He has to pay her court costs.

Second, Levi married his second baby-mama last week and didn't tell Bristol. Or so Hollywood gossip rags say.

Compiled by Sheila Toomey Message Sheila at Find Ear online Sunday night at

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