Alaska Ear: Rage against the machine? (10/6/2013)

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE? . . . The perils of using technology to fake friendship seem pretty obvious to Ear, but our d'Ear politicians -- or the Outside technocrats they hire -- never learn. Ear got copies of a Mead Treadwell fundraising letter this week from several recipients who objected to the phony chummy tone. Ear was pretty ho-hum until a third party forwarded one sent to "Hon. Harriet Drummond."

" ... I am reaching out to you, Hon. Drummond. You are one of Alaska's most committed Republicans and I would be honored to have your early support," said old pal Mead.

Really, darlings? Did they think "Hon." was short for "Honey"?

Ear called the office of the Honorable Harriet Drummond, Democratic House member from Anchorage, to inquire if she had responded with a contribution.

"I can't really say for sure," replied the staff person who answered the phone. At least, Ear thinks that's what she said. She was laughing so hard it was difficult to tell.

A TWIT? . . . Earwigs looking to buy affordable health insurance got this helpful advice from our would-be U.S. senator, Honor Code Joe Miller, who tweeted: "Need Health Care Coverage? Just Dial 1-800-F**KYO to Reach Obamacare's National Hotline". Now that's a class act.

MAYBE, MAYBE NOT . . . Now that municipal elections are done in the rest of the state, Anchortowners can start obsessing about theirs -- and, yes, they're not until April. The early focus is on Chris Birch's seat. He's termed out so it will be a no-incumbent race. In an effort to hold on to his Assembly juice, earwigs say Mayor Dan is already pushing Pete Nolan, an ex-cop. And maybe attorney Bill Evans is going to run.

Now from South Anchorage comes news that former School Board President Jeannie Mackie is seriously considering diving into the deep end of the pool. She's already won a citywide election and got pretty good reviews for her ASB tenure, so some fun could break out here.

TENNIS ANYONE? . . . Earwigs watching the kerfluffle over the mayor's plan to build indoor tennis courts in Turnagain are asking: How does Hizzoner like being the ball, instead of the racquet?

R ON R . . . Did Rep. Bill Stoltze, R-Chugiak, say in a public meeting that Mayor Dan's chief of staff, Dan Kendall, called to ask that he take down residents' signs protesting a proposed dump in Chugiak?

Did Stoltze further say he did not return his old friend's call because taking down people's signs is not his thing, and there's a good chance the dump is a bad deal for his constituents?

Darlings, has Stoltze not read the politician's handbook, where it says never share such information with the public?

It's allegedly up on Facebook.

ON THE MOVE . . . Former Deputy City Clerk Jacqueline Duke has a new job as financial officer for Municipal Light and Power. It's nice to see she landed somewhere after a couple of Assembly guys canned her publicly, after that ballot shortage flap. (Without even taking to her boss about it. Or so Ear hears.)

Yes, she's been in the new job for three months and Ear just heard the news. Hey, get over it. Ear has a life.

A QUESTION . . . Is it true that the engagement of two public figures, announced earlier this year, is off because she caught him flexting (more than texting, less than sexting -- flirt texting) with a co-worker?

Ear doesn't know the answer -- and is it really any of our business?

Just kidding.

WHAT SHUTDOWN? . . . The Parnell administration sent invitations hither and yon Wednesday to meetings Thursday, Friday and Saturday of the "Federal Overreach Summit," better known as Capt. Zero's Whinefest.

Feds were invited to participate in a "second round" of state complaining about land use issues, etc.

Which prompts Ear to ask: Does the governor follow national news? The federal government is closed, and no federal worker who has time to attend Whinefest could possibly be "essential."

ALASKA GOOD WILL . . . We're so transcontinental, leaving our mark everywhere. A recent traveler to Germany shared the following Oktoberfest police blotter item, slugged "cannibalism," from the newspaper Sueddeutsche Zeitung, published Sept. 30 in Munich:

"A 30-year-old woman from Alaska bit the lower lip off a 23-year-old Australian Friday afternoon in the Hofbrautent ... (the article goes on a bit and reports that he was taken for emergency surgery, where the lip was re-attached, but because of the content of human spittle, the risk of infection is as high as from a dog bite). The Alaskan refused to take a breathalyzer and a blood sample was accordingly drawn. She is in police custody for criminal assault."

Alas, investigative Ear couldn't find the biter's name or hometown.

Anybody missing a 30-year-old female friend or family member who was in Germany last month and hasn't been seen since?

Compiled by Sheila Toomey Message Sheila at 257-4341 or