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Alaska Ear: Scrooge lives

Sheila Toomey

SCROOGE LIVES ... KTOO reporter Lisa Phu tweeted a festive photo Tuesday from the governor's Christmas open house in Juneau.

Sen. Bill "The Grinch" Wielechowski posted the following response:

"While 43,000 Alaskans go w/o health care b/c Parnell rejects Medicaid Gov has party at mansion w 24,000 cookies & 100 lbs of fudge."

Hey, lighten up. The event is a long-standing tradition, to say the least. The first one was in 1913, making this year the 100th anniversary.

And, it's not a "mansion."

Will someone please give Bill a cookie?

OH PLEASE ... You know it's a slow news day when a candidate's "first" gimme-money letter is deemed worthy of a story. Capt. Zero has been getting plenty of money from fundraisers so maybe a general donation request just slipped his mind; but at least the letter sent out last week proved amusing. It calls opponents Bill Walker and Byron Mallott "two peas in a pod" -- isn't that an old Wally Hickel line, from his 1990 race for governor?

Citing the owner-statesman like that gave Walker an opening to claim Parnell and his campaign manager, Jerry Gallagher, are the real pod people -- both former oil company lobbyists. And it permitted Walker to emit the following:

"(I) knew Wally Hickel well and Sean Parnell is no Wally Hickel."

Whatever. Ear notes that Ermalee hosted a fundraiser for Walker on Friday.

Golly. Only 11 months until the election.

FLYING FACTOID ... They're going to need a really big table when the Alaska Supremes hear oral arguments next week in the fight that includes whether Pebble mine people can paw through the personal financial records of Vic Fischer and Bella Hammond.

Twenty-one lawyers have signed up for the event.

This is the lawsuit where Gov. Parnell and Pebble are apparently trying to get $1 million in fees from the two Alaska icons, ages 80 and 89, plus others who filed a public interest lawsuit four years ago to find out what Pebble plans for us -- and lost.

SANTA COPS ... A student earwig reports being approached by a UAA police officer as she pulled into the parking lot last week, which produced the same anxiety such approaches usually produce, even if you're not doing anything wrong.

Turns out the officer just wanted to give her some candy and wish her well on her final exams.

Really.

In a tradition started by longtime Officer Marcia Fischer, campus cops give out candy to sweeten finals week for stressed-out students who might have forgotten it's also the Christmas season.

BTW, this particular Santa Cop was Assemblyman and former mayoral candidate Paul Honeman, retired from APD and now watching over UAA.

because we must ... Is Ear the only appendage that didn't know about the Sarah Palin commemorative gold coin? (Or perhaps Ear's annual Palin brain sweep just flushed it.)

Anyhow, there's a new(ish) 2012 edition to replace the 2009 version. It's allegedly an ounce of 24-carat gold and bears what one blogger called a "terrifying likeness" of Sarah.

Because the law says we must follow Sarah forever, we take note of a flaming blog-spat currently in progress over the absence of "In God We Trust" from the new coin.

Yawn.

UNPROTECTED YOU-KNOW-WHAT ... How sensitive and tasteful are the Alaska State Troopers? Here's the top of a recent incident report:

"Location: Salcha. Type: Missing Dog ... AST received a report of a missing Rottweiler dog ... Investigation determined that the missing Rottweiler was unrestrained, and unsupervised when it entered the private property of another person. The Rottweiler reportedly bred with a restrained dog. The neighbor held the Rottweiler for a period of time in an apparent attempt to protect her dog from further contact by the Rottweiler."

GOOD DOG, BAD DOG ... Speaking of dogs, those people ducking speeding cars last week on the Seward Highway between Dimond and O'Malley were chasing Pillow's dog, Pascal, an 11-year-old couch pooch who escaped from his minders while Pillow and hubby Earl vacationed in California and Las Vegas.

Earwigs' favorite retired exotic dancer says the two-day hunt for Pascal was coordinated by the rescue group Straw for Dogs and the puppy chip company, who issued a BOLO that turned into a major Facebook-Twitter event with dozens of strangers reporting sightings and an eventual tackle of the dog on the highway by a guy who now needs a new jacket.

Compiled by Sheila Toomey Message Sheila at 257-4341 or ear@adn.com.


By Sheila Toomey