Has the Internet made it easier to cheat on our partners? Probably. According to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 22 percent of men and 14 percent of women will cheat during their marriage. Now, with websites like Ashley Madison, created solely for helping people find lovers (the tagline is, "Life is short, have an affair") a record number of people are reportedly turning to the Internet for help with hooking up.
When is a partner's online activity OK, and when is it inappropriate or, worse yet, adulterous? A few readers recently questioned whether their partners were crossing a line. Read on.
Dear Wayne and Wanda,
I've been with my boyfriend 9 months. We met on Match. I recently was using his laptop and saw he had a browser open to his Match.com account! I was furious. He says he just never canceled it and likes to browse it "for fun." Don't I have a right to be mad?
Log out already
Wanda says: There's no reason for him to keep that account open as long as he's happy with you. Unless he's not happy with you. In which case, it makes perfect sense that he keep it active. Tell him to log out, or you're out.
Wayne says: Woohoo! Nothing says "fun" like cruising the Internet for side-pieces while your longtime girlfriend isn't paying attention. The Match account should have been closed the second you changed your relationship status on Facebook. You can't and shouldn't trust this guy. Dump him.
Dear Wayne and Wanda,
I use an online site to arrange discreet hookups when my wife is out of town. I don't love these women and rarely if ever see them more than once. I use protection. This way, I fill that need for physical satisfaction without breaking up my family. I love my wife, but we rarely have sex. Without these casual hookups, I think I'd be divorced by now.
Wanda says: You should be divorced by now. Marriage is built on trust and fidelity. If you can't be trusted and faithful, no worries: just don't be married! Unconvinced? Let's role play. Imagine your wife was the one having all the sideline action. How does that make you feel?
Wayne says: My man -- you are true a champ for hanging in there and sleeping with other women to keep your marriage alive! Husband of the Year material. Wanda touched on two marriage foundations -- here's one more: communication. If you're so invested in this partnership (eye roll), talk to your wife about your sexual dissatisfaction. If things don't turn around, be an adult and get a lawyer, not an online fling.
• Wanda is a wise person who has loved, lost and been to therapy. Wayne is a wise guy who has no use for therapy. Send them your questions and thoughts at firstname.lastname@example.org.