Opinions

Alaska voters have themselves to blame for 2014 ballot full of duds

Janis Joplin used to sing a lyric, "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." Yes, Janis, your words ring like a bell. Too bad no one is listening. November elections are coming up and like the brain-dead we truly are, some of us will probably trudge to the voting booth to do our "patriotic duty" and cast our votes for the brain-dead, money-grabbing candidates we must choose from.

Do you really want to know which candidate you should vote for? OK, here it is, folks ... none of them. There is not a single Alaskan candidate worth a single vote. Why? The vote is irrelevant. This is no longer a democracy. Money dictates politics now, not "We the People," and if you don't believe that just ask the U.S. Supreme Court and the Koch brothers.

That's why politicians, of any party, refuse to work for us. They don't have to. They tell us they do -- constantly -- but in fact they work for themselves. They work to make money -- big money. But what really annoys and offends me is that they think we're stupid. And maybe we are -- we continue to vote for candidates who have bought themselves a place on the ticket. Money paves the way into office now.

So, that's why these ditzy nobodies keep getting elected? Wow! Did a light just come on, people? Each of the Alaska candidate's brains reminds me of a bee buzzing around inside an empty jar. I recently read a commentary in the paper by Senate candidate Dan Sullivan, and it is some of the most pretentious writing I've seen. Someone should tell Dan that one or two hot Thai peppers go a long way. When someone like Sullivan splashes them all over the page, they're not writing, they're constructing a facade and trying to impress us with wordy nonsense. You writers know what I'm referring to here.

Politicians of both parties pursue their own agendas for the want of money. They're intent on being the "Grinch That Stole Christmas." They're taking us back to the America that John Steinbeck wrote about in his novels -- a time when there was no middle class -- just the dirty poor, and the filthy rich. Read "The Grapes of Wrath" and "Of Mice and Men." That is where these big money candidates are taking us.

But all of our candidates have "spin." They have succeeded in turning double talk into a fine art. Look at the lies in the TV ads. They know they're lying. Each of them tries to tell more lies than the other.

You want to know how to snatch America back from these clowns in "public" office? Start by knocking down their salaries to about a tenth of what they are today. Eliminate that retirement system that is outrageously extravagant by anyone's measure; put them on a retirement system like most us have that'll make them rely heavily on Social Security (and watch how fast they get Social Security fixed); put them on a crappy expensive health care package like the rest of us have; take away all of those wonderful perks, and that plush lifestyle.

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Do all that and I promise you, all of these politicians today who are as shallow as water running under the door will fade away, and we will have politicians who genuinely care about this nation. You have to take the money and avarice out of politics to have a true democracy. These blowhard politicians today, from Lisa Murkowski to Mark Begich, should be handing out cross-country skis for this snow job they keep giving us.

But you know what? Taking back America will never happen. It's too late. America is lost. Why? We keep electing these apathetic and greedy people, and we deserve exactly what we have. So, stop grumbling, people. We must have wanted this mess we have today, we voted for it.

I know what you're thinking, dear reader. Who will I vote for? Well, to answer your question, I'm not voting. I refuse to waste my time. On election day I'll put on some Janis Joplin music, uncork a couple of bottles of good French red wine, and while listening to the lyric, "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose," I'll get knee-walking drunk.

Before you offer some snide remark to that, just remember that all of you standing in line to vote for these empty-headed money-grabbing politicians, will remain in the ranks of the blissfully ignorant, and the following morning I shall be indisputably sober (to paraphrase Winston Churchill).

The America we have today is like a huge train wreck, and big money laid the tracks. I can hear you now, "But don't you want to exercise your constitutional right to vote?" To which I'll respond with, "To what end?"

John Connor is a freelance writer who lives in Anchorage.

Correction: This opinion originally contained repeated misspellings of Janis Joplin's name. They have been corrected.

The views expressed here are the writer's own and are not necessarily endorsed by Alaska Dispatch News, which welcomes a broad range of viewpoints. To submit a piece for consideration, email commentary(at)alaskadispatch.com.

John Connor

John Connor lives in Anchorage.

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