Alaska News

Experts say Young's suicide comments triggered much-needed dialogue about 'the S-word'

Leave it to Don Young to get Alaskans talking about suicide.

The 81-year-old congressman with a reputation for unfiltered speech made national headlines when he linked suicide to a lack of support from friends and family during a visit to Wasilla High School five days after a student took his own life. When another student corrected Young with a reference to depression, he responded with profanity.

The exchange stunned staff and students still reeling from the death of Jeremiah Parret, a 16-year-old sophomore who killed himself on Oct. 16.

Intentionally or not, Young's remarks also triggered a conversation about suicide and prevention that sent ripples from Wasilla to New York City.

"It was so egregious and so ill-informed, but because there isn't a uniform, let alone high level, of understanding of suicide, it could potentially be very damaging," said Dr. Christine Moutier, chief medical officer for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in Manhattan. "He kind of perpetuated the very old, disproved myths of the past that it's the person's fault, that's it's the people around them's fault."

Alaska suicide experts steered clear of what several called the "politics" surrounding Young's comments -- he's running for re-election against Democratic challenger Forrest Dunbar -- and focused instead on the educational opportunity they afford.

"Elders have certain beliefs that aren't necessarily embedded in fact," said Michelle Woods, who trains students in suicide prevention through the Northwest Arctic Borough School District in Kotzebue. "It is the obligation of all of us, including our young people, to make sure the facts are out there."

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Memory walk

Suicide strikes urban and rural communities from Juneau to Tununak, Seward to Scammon Bay. Alaska's suicide rate is among the highest in the nation -- third per capita in 2012 -- and more young people 15 to 24 died by suicide here than in any other state, according to the American Association of Suicidology.

In Wasilla on Friday, more than 120 people came out on a gray Friday afternoon for a "memory walk" on the high school cross-country trails to honor Parret, the student who took his life.

The group was a mix of people: students, staff, teachers but also Parret's family and grandparents, according to Wasilla High School principal Amy Spargo.

Parret, who was a sophomore at Wasilla, had also attended Colony and Service high schools, according to his obituary. He ran cross-country and track, played football and participated in the Alaska Scholastic Clay Target Program.

His death was the second suicide at Wasilla in as many years, Spargo said.

The student who contradicted Young last week, 17-year-old Hunter Hermans, was "speaking how they were very well-loved," she said. "He was trying to explain that depression trumps that sometimes. It was sad. He was trying to do the right thing."

Parret's mother, Bonnie Parret, attended the walk with other family members. Parret said people who knew her son came together as a community because of the congressman's words.

"They have been able to kind of unite with that action and stand up and say, 'No, it's not always because of a lack of support,'" Parret said.

Mythbusting

Young restated his "lack of support" position on suicide during a visit Wednesday to the Palmer senior center, and added that government "largesse" was also to blame and that suicide in Alaska didn't happen before federal funding started flowing.

On Friday, however, he told the Alaska Federation of Natives that he was sorry if his words offended anyone. Young addressed the annual AFN convention in Anchorage, saying his words in Wasilla reflected his own personal doubts after a nephew killed himself.

"But I will tell you how many times I've asked myself, 'Did I do enough? Did I take a nephew away from an abusive father? Did I love him enough? Did I do enough?' And apparently I did not," he said.

It's natural to feel guilt or shame after a relative or friend dies by suicide, experts say.

Research does indicate that consistent support from friends, family and health-care workers can be a "protective factor" against suicide, Moutier said. "But the issue is so complex that the converse isn't necessarily true."

The way we talk about suicide is part of suicide prevention, she said. It's important to reflect the "significant risk" posed by mental illness but also the complex other factors at play, including genetic history, life stress or head trauma.

Elders sometimes unintentionally complicate the grieving process, said Woods, the Kotzebue-based prevention advocate. Sometimes spiritual beliefs conflict with best practices, she said. "One thing we struggled with out here was elders saying 'Don't cry, don't grieve for the person who died because their spirit won't go into the next world.'"

That's the opposite of the contemporary teaching about the importance of grief, the five stages people go through.

"Whether it be Don Young or other elders, they need to be educated there are better ways of doing business," Woods said.

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Power of words

Talking is crucial given the possibility for more suicides in the months after someone dies, several prevention experts said, but it requires sensitivity to protect bereaved loved ones.

Preventing suicide takes open dialogue on an often difficult subject, said James Gallanos, Alaska Suicide Prevention program coordinator.The state uses "safe messaging guidelines" to help people talk about suicide after it happens.

Gallanos said he talks about "the S-word" during trainings around the state.

"When we say the word suicide, it brings up feelings and emotion, the pain associated with someone's loss, the stigma, the shame," he said. "It's so hard to talk about. That also reinforces a lot of the difficulty ... to be able to address it."

Wasilla is in a fragile period, according to state and national suicide prevention officials.

The term experts use to describe outreach after a suicide is called "postvention," and it's the subject of a comprehensive state guide on the subject.The state also funds a 24-hour emergency hotline for people who are considering suicide or know someone who may be. The Careline Crisis Intervention number is 877-266-4357. Live assistance is also available by text message; text "4help" to 839863 between 3 and 11 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday.

One priority of postvention is helping grieving family members and friends heal, according to Eric Boyer, chair of the Anchorage Suicide Prevention Coalition and a training coordinator at University of Alaska Anchorage. That means not leaving them alone.

"In our westernized culture, it's counterintuitive for us to jump in and help be a presence and a support to a family when they're hurting," Boyer said. "We tend to shy away, let people deal with their pain, work through it ... the opposite is actually what works."

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Getting past the stigma

Another priority in the aftermath of suicide is reducing the risk of "contagion" or other people killing themselves, a risk that can last up to two years, he said.

Boyer and another trainer recently traveled to Seward, where he said the community had been affected by several suicides over the winter. They trained 500 people in two days.

The principals of the junior and high schools stood on stage in front of 600 students and said they wanted the suicides to stop, Boyer said. The trainers talked about knowing what suicide looks like, how to intervene, where to find resources for help and how to reach out to someone suffering from depression who can't ask for help themselves.

"As a state, if we can get past the stigma and the shame of suicide and mental illness and promote that, when we do all those things, the risk of contagion just goes out the door," he said.

Spargo, the Wasilla principal, said that after media reports described Young's argumentative manner and "hurtful" suicide comments at the school, she fielded several raw calls from people who had lost loved ones to suicide. A woman from Idaho reached out. So did a man who blamed himself before learning more about depression's role.

"It's touching a nerve for people," she said.

Bonnie Parret said Young's comments in the wake of her son's death may ultimately provide some benefit.

"Everybody is grieving and everybody is upset and everybody wants to do something to help and ease the pain," Parret said. "I think that because of his comments everybody had action, everybody's been able to take action and ... have a conversation about suicide. And I think that's positive."

Contact Zaz Hollander at zhollander@alaskadispatch.com.

Zaz Hollander

Zaz Hollander is a veteran journalist based in the Mat-Su and is currently an ADN local news editor and reporter. She covers breaking news, the Mat-Su region, aviation and general assignments. Contact her at zhollander@adn.com.

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