Alaska News

Wayne and Wanda: Dealing with jealousy when you're married to a Slope worker

Dear Wayne and Wanda,

My husband works on the Slope (two on, two off) and one of his coworkers on the night shift is a pretty blond woman. I know he's a good person and committed, but the thought of them spending every night working in close quarters up there is driving me crazy. How do I get over this jealousy?

-- Sloper's wife

Wanda says:

Jealousies over spouses' close-knit relationships with coworkers are totally understandable. These days, we often spend more time with our colleagues than our chosen partners. Sharing work, successes and stresses can result in pretty cozy friendships -- ones that often have our spouses feeling like the odd ones out.

The Slope dynamic kicks it up a notch for sure. Not only are your husband and Blondie sharing long hours, they're also likely sharing meals, breaks and living quarters.

But as a woman who has been to the Slope more than once, let me offer some perspective. You work long shifts and when you're finished, about all you have time or energy for is eating and sleeping. People aren't lounging around bonding in their off time. The dynamic between field crews tends to be more familial and friendly than frisky or flirty. And banish any thoughts of your husband's coworker prancing around in hot outfits. The dress code is more like coveralls and Carhartts.

Your husband has it hard enough working a Slope night shift schedule without managing your insecurities, too. Cut him some slack.

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Wayne says:

Don't let Wanda fool you, folks – unlike all the other Slopers, she looks stunning in her flame-retardant parka and bunny boots!

Since Wanda broke down the North Slope dynamic, I'll get back to real-world romance. At some point, you simply have to trust your husband. That, or you can go crazy from worrying and drive your husband crazy, too.

Keep worrying and let me predict your future: Your committed and hardworking husband returns from two exhausting weeks on the Slope to you, his anxious and stressed wife. You bring up your completely unfounded cheating concerns. He feels attacked and blindsided. Then he has a moment of clarity and starts wondering what his insecure wife is up to when he's away for two weeks. A little extra stretching with a yoga dude? A special delivery from the mailman? Some not-so-lonely nights with Tinder randoms? Now you both can worry your way to real cheating and/or divorce!

Want something to worry about? Worry about him being safe in a really tough working environment. And until he gives you a reason not to, have faith in your man and the promises he made to you when you married him.

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