Opinions

Forget the 'R' word; expectations are high for people with special needs

As more than a thousand people prepare to plunge themselves into the icy waters of Goose Lake this Saturday as part of the 2014 Polar Plunge and Pledge Drive for Special Olympics Alaska, I find myself reflecting on the changes I have seen in the lives of people with special needs in our world, specifically in my world over the last 35 years. I wear a lot of hats -- I am a police officer, wife of a police officer and mother of two daughters, both who have attitude and one who has Down syndrome. I'm the niece of a 62-year-old with Down syndrome and I advocate for all people with special needs as a member of the Governor's Council on Disabilities and Special Education.

Growing up in Alaska and with an uncle who had Down syndrome in my house, I didn't think much about the inclusion of people with special needs because it was a way of life for us. Uncle Dan was the center of our family; he was always there with a hug or to tell you about his fabulous day at "work." Dan was born in 1952, when there wasn't a big emphasis on his education, and our family didn't know any better. We ignorantly told people that he had the intellect of a 3-year-old, but we loved him no matter what!

Fifty-seven years after Uncle Dan was born with Down syndrome, I took my first look at my daughter, Gianna, and I knew right away that she had Down syndrome. Somewhere deep down inside me, I always knew I would have a child with Down syndrome. I immediately went to work learning everything I could about her special needs. Five years later, after taking classes one at a time, I am about to finish my master's degree in special education. The most important thing I have learned over the last five years is how much our family underestimated Uncle Dan. I don't fault our family as we were a product of our time, but I have learned and now strive to never underestimate anyone with special needs ever again.

Today, Gianna is 5 years old. She registers at about 50 percent of the "normal" growth charts and is off the Down syndrome growth charts. Gianna has a perfect heart, perfect eyes and ears, she can count to 27 and speaks in complete sentences. Gianna loves movies, wrestling with her big sister, riding the bus to school and singing "Happy Birthday." Including Gianna in life is easy, but maintaining high expectations for her and encouraging everyone else to do the same can be difficult.

We can pretend they don't exist, but the truth is, there are some hard and fast stereotypes about people with special needs that are difficult to overcome. Every time we say or hear the "r" word -- retarded or retard -- that stereotype is hammered into stone. You think your boss is making bad decisions or isn't very smart? The "r" word fits nicely, right? How about those kids skateboarding on the veterans' memorial? The "r" word has become part of our everyday vocabulary, but unfortunately it also describes my wonderfully bright daughter in most medical books, diagnoses and paperwork in her "file."

The medical term "retarded" is nearly retired thanks to recent legislation, but it takes time to phase out a word that has been used in the medical field for countless decades. By continuing to use this word in casual conversations, even around our kids, we are continuing callous and exclusionary stereotypes that cause all of us -- parents, friends, educators and legislators -- to lower our expectations for people with special needs.

Gianna will be educated, she will have a meaningful job of her own and she will be a productive, self-sufficient member of our society. Her family expects no less. In my lifetime, our world has changed for the better in regard to people with special needs. However, we can continue to improve, make little seemingly meaningless changes in our vocabulary, advocate for people who are different and hold all people to high but achievable standards.

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Angelina Fraize has worked in law enforcement for 13 years. She has been an APD officer for eight years and currently works as a staff instructor at the APD police academy. Born and raised in Alaska, Angelina and her husband, who is also a police officer, have two daughters. Angelina recently earned a master's degree in special education from University of Alaska Anchorage.

The views expressed here are the writer's own and are not necessarily endorsed by Alaska Dispatch News, which welcomes a broad range of viewpoints. To submit a piece for consideration, email commentary(at)alaskadispatch.com

Angelina Fraize

Angelina Fraize is an Anchorage police officer, special needs advocate and mother of a daughter with Down syndrome.

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