I ran out of gas a few weeks ago. I guess if I were by the side of the road instead of in the middle of Kachemak Bay this wouldn't be worth mentioning. I hadn't thought to check the gas levels because I knew there was an extra tank. Yeah. I wasn't worried when I let the motor warm up.
It's not because I don't like the guy at the fuel dock. He's always friendly and has a joke ready. Usually a pun. He hasn't changed much since high school, save an impressively long beard.
Clearly the fuel situation was figured out and my crossing continued safely, but the whole situation has really been bugging me. How could I have just forgotten something so simple and crucial?
It became a little clearer this week when I read a letter signed by the incoming Senate President Kevin Meyer who represents ConocoPhillips and occasionally the folks on Anchorage's Hillside, Speaker of the House Mike Chenault, and a small handful of other Republican lawmakers.
Folks, I'm really glad these people have health care because they appear to be suffering from Reality Deficit Disorder.
If we weren't up a creek without a paddle -- or in the middle of the bay with no fuel -- I'd probably just laugh until tears fell down my face. Honestly, the same people who voted for the largest budget deficits in our state's history think we might be having a fiscal emergency and just maybe it's brand new and they aren't the ones that forgot to check the incoming fuel against the outgoing during one of those little finance committee meetings. Who could see this coming?!
Oh, the letter, you may not have seen it since it was addressed to Gov. Bill Walker. They were asking him to please clean up the giant fiscal disaster they helped the last governor to create. Boy, howdy! That is rich. See, the Republicans have been driving around in the SS Alaska and haven't checked the tank in years -- because they've known their was a spare -- it's called the Permanent Fund. Oops.
They want to throw everything overboard that they've been stacking on deck.
Here's some of their suggestions:
A hiring freeze including all department vacancies. Really? Maybe some jobs are redundant and that should be evaluated -- but what if some of those jobs are essential? Any consideration for some of those jobs being in safety enforcement?
Limit agency travel to essential or emergency response. Dear, Alaskan, this stinks to high heaven. Ever heard of the National Assembly of Sportsmen's Caucuses Meeting? At least five of our lawmakers attended this past year. It's held in Oregon. The classes included "Knife Forging," "Knife & Tomahawk Throwing Adventure," and 1-hour massage. That last one sounds lovely. "Tame tension and soothe sore muscles with the calm, gliding strokes of this massage."
Maybe the classes were a bit too late because they could have used a knife and tomahawk on the last five years of budgets. It's not clear yet how much of the tab for this trip Alaska will pick up, but all five lawmakers put in for state approval of the trip, which generally means they'll seek reimbursement. So how about this: No more state-sponsored junkets for lawmakers.
Speaker Chenault said, "We appreciate that (Gov. Walker is) still settling in, assembling his cabinet and learning the scope of his office."
Well, that's precious, Mister Speaker. When are you going to learn the scope of your office? You, sir, with your colleagues, forgot to check the tank and now you want someone else to fix it. Wah wah.
In a few weeks the clown car will pull up to the Capitol Building in Juneau and these people will climb out and have our purse strings in their grips again. Yeah. The same people who approved budgets 30 and 40 percent over the previous years. The same people who enabled the former governor to pass the largest capital and operating budgets, creating the largest budget deficit, are now beating their chests and using phrases like "fiscal conservatism."
The truth is we are about to find out just how out of order Alaska's fiscal house is. Tightening belts is necessary, and the governor is already whacking away boondoggle spending. It's just hard for me to imagine the people who got us into this mess will be the ones who get us out. I'm rooting for them though. I want to be wrong -- because if I am, we all win.
Shannyn Moore is a radio broadcaster.
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