Q: My best friends at work and I all share the same "geez, who are they kidding?" reaction to the crap that comes down from above in our company. We get together at least two nights a week, have a beer or two and shoot the breeze or play darts.
I recently decided to go back to school, taking two classes on Monday nights. I told the gang and thought they'd cheer me on. Instead, one guy said, "Way to go, bro," but everyone else just kept discussing who was going to win the Super Bowl.
When school started, I didn't have as much for time for them, because I had to study. That's when things really began to sour. We were having a darts game, with our supervisor in effigy, and one guy said they should put a cutout of me up there. When I said, "Yeah, right," he told me I was getting a big head, acting stuck-up and brown-nosing our supervisor. I said, "What do you mean?" and realized a couple of them agreed with him. I threw some money down on the table and left.
I swear I've not changed, but things aren't the same. My kid sister wrote this for me saying you'd answer me.
A: You did change and your friends didn't. They're still playing darts and you're studying. You didn't intend leaving them behind, but they see you as moving forward in ways they're not. Non-friend friends can't stand that.
Initially, they didn't cheer you on because the Super Bowl mattered more. Now, your example reminds them that they're not ambitious in the ways you are. Either they don't like it or you're acting like you're "above them" in some way.
You can win your friends back if you want. Head back to the bar, buy them a round, make a couple comments about the nonsense coming down at you all from above, and if you've been acting stuck-up, cut it out. But do you want to?
Q: We have one employee who takes intermittent Family Medical Leave. We suspect her of using the guise of FMLA leave to cover alcohol abuse and extended weekends, as she's absent two to three Mondays a month. Prior to her FMLA, she claimed occasional sick days on Mondays. Other employees have noticed her leaving early Friday as well.
With this fact pattern and given the rumors now circulating, may we start asking her to bring doctor's notes each week to justify her need for Monday leave?
A: While a Monday absence pattern may indicate alcoholism, you can wind up in legal hot water if you ask for weekly doctor's notes from an employee using intermittent Family Medical Leave. In a recent case, Oak Harbor Freight Lines v. Antti, the employer suspected that employee Antti used FMLA leave to cover weekend drinking. Ninety-four percent of Antti's absences fell on Mondays, Fridays or days adjacent to holidays.
They asked Antti to bring weekly doctor's notes and he sued, claiming an FMLA violation. The U.S. District Court ruled in Antti's favor, noting that once an employer receives the "complete and sufficient" medical certification needed to qualify for FMLA certification, it may not request additional information from the health care provider unless it requests a recertification.
Recertification requests can't be made weekly and need to be made on a "reasonable" basis, "no more than once every thirty days" and only in connection with an employee's absence. You can find these regulations at www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance.
Here's what you can do: If it's been more than 30 days since the original certification, you can ask for recertification and furnish the physician the leave pattern. Your employee's physician may read the situation as you do and help the employee fix the real problem.
Dr. Lynne Curry is author of "Solutions" and owner of the management/HR consulting/training firm The Growth Company Inc. Send your questions to her at lynne@thegrowthcompany.com. Follow Curry on Twitter @lynnecury10 or through www.workplacecoachblog.com.