Arts and Entertainment

Birdbrains get festive in Homer

HOMER -- Against a backdrop of beer-making equipment, the ever-funny Dave Aplin announced the two categories in the annual "What the Heck Kind of Bird Was That?" bird-calling competition at the Kachemak Bay Shorebird Festival: "real bird songs" and "miscellaneous or not necessarily true bird songs." He enticed entrants with the promise of "glamorous prizes and the prestige that goes with winning."

At Homer Brewing Co., bird and beer lovers spilled out the door, and servers filled glasses as quickly as they could. On this evening, the top-selling Red Knot Scottish ale, named for a migrating shorebird, was especially popular.

Three "professional guest judges" -- actual professionals -- took their places at the judging table. The festival's keynote speaker, Dr. David Bird -- "it's my real name" -- was introduced as an expert in raptors and drones. Featured speaker Dr. Neil Hayward mentioned that "$1 bills in unsequential numbers will enhance your chances." The third, Wisconsin's Ben Lizdas, is a seasoned bird-calling judge who doubles as the festival's optics expert.

Aplin again explained the categories and the judging criteria for the "complex system. Audience response is very important … in addition to the payola."

Avian sounds

The first contestant, in the serious category, told a story about backpacking in the Chugach Mountains and waking up one morning, surrounded by mating-minded ptarmigan. He imitated their calls: "C'mere, c'mere, c'mere!"

Next we heard from a nuthatch, then a mockingbird imitating a chain saw. In both cases, the audience was challenged to guess the species. Repeat calls and multiple clues were necessary.

A tiny girl riding her father's shoulders took the "stage" and was prompted by Dad, "Can you make the sound of an eagle?" "No," she answered, emphatically. Aplin was quick to clarify that the bird was, in fact, "the American mute eagle."

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A visitor from Washington, D.C., presented the call of a Swedish whippoorwill, a bird he said he had never actually heard.

A team from Anchorage, clearly in the not-serious category, presented the shrieky call of a bird named for a particular mayoral candidate.

An 11-year-old did a terrific whistled imitation of a who-whoing owl, and another young man sounded exactly like a chicken.

The brewer himself stepped up with his magpie call -- and his denouncement of magpies, a species he likened to flying killer whales.

'The Crazy Birds'

A group calling themselves "The Crazy Birds" wound their way to the front, accompanied by a stage mom. Aplin interviewed the four small girls about their names, ages and schooling. (The oldest was 5.) And they delivered perfect imitations of ducks quacking and crows cawing. Based on applause, they were clearly a crowd favorite.

Late entries, emboldened perhaps by beer drinking or other people's silliness, included an anonymous rainforest bird, an alpine parrot, something that whistled and an owl inspired by a movie.

Remember the ptarmigan mating call? A different contestant delivered a story involving ptarmigan hunting and the "rest of" the ptarmigan call. If at first the bird calls "c'mere, c'mere," it changes to "go back, go back" when you get close. This is apparently true.

At last the judges convened over their notes and beers. When the scores were rung up, Aplin announced the top three winners for each category and their prizes (beer glasses, coffee mugs, magnets "for your computer" and tickets to a festival music event).

First place in the fun category was the shrieking political candidate.

The judges had a more difficult time with the serious category and settled on a first-place tie between the young man with his owl call and "The Crazy Birds." The winners returned for encore presentations, and each received a small beer glass "for juice."

Nancy Lord is a Homer-based writer and former Alaska writer laureate. Her books include "Fishcamp," "Beluga Days" and "Early Warming."

Nancy Lord

Nancy Lord is a Homer-based writer and former Alaska writer laureate. Her books include "Fishcamp," "Beluga Days," and "Early Warming." Her latest book is "pH: A Novel."

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