There's some new show on the TeeVee about the Yukon River…
Nevermind. I can't even pretend to care, because President Obama is going to be on "Running Wild with Bear Grylls," thus proving that the most Alaskan thing one can possibly do is appear on a reality TV show.
While I tried to get this publication to wave a magic wand and get me out to the glacier to observe the magic of the president and some dude who calls himself "Bear" trying to survive with hundreds of Secret Service members and park rangers making sure they don't encounter wildlife or humans, my requests were unsuccessful. But look at that run-on sentence I put together.
In the meantime, the Internet is outraged! "Please President Obama, don't go on that show with Bear Grylls. He is not an Alaskan. He is not a US citizen," said someone in the ADN comments. There was a reference to Teddy Roosevelt, America's favorite wilderness POTUS. And lots and lots of confusion about this publicity stunt.
If I were producing this executive episode of "Bear Grylls," I'd extend an invitation to Alaska's other least-favorite Bear, from "Alaskan Bush People" -- though his boundless energy, tree climbing and bad decisions would likely guarantee no future POTUS would ever visit our fair state again. At the very least I'd get Marty Raney to serenade the president with "I Really Caribou You" after hiking up a mountain. What could go wrong?
Let's just all hope that the Secret Service is on their game and our commander in chief isn't roped into one of Bear's "dehydration remedies." You know what I mean. I cannot wait to watch this, and I hope the president is wearing mom jeans.
Finally, it was another typical week on "Edge of Alaska." There's meetings about the future of McCarthy, and Mark Wacht continues to be the best character on television.
In one scene he is just hanging, drankin' PBRs in the middle of day, saying things like "as long as the bar doesn't close, I really don't care." Also I noticed that on his bio picture on Discovery he's also drinking a beer, you can barely see a pint glass at the bottom of his photo, not doing something extreme like everyone else. I want to be friends with this dude. Mark, I'm coming to McCarthy. Let's hang.
Emily Fehrenbacher lives in Anchorage, where she reviews Alaska reality TV. You can reach her at realitycheck@alaskadispatch.com or on Twitter @ETFBacher.