It's been a month now since Pope Francis visited the United States. I have to admit, when I watched his address to Congress I was distracted by House Speaker John Boehner's tears. Oh, I have thought for years Boehner should be a Kleenex spokesperson instead of third in line to the presidency because of his tendency to melt into waterworks so often. Can you imagine him during a Hallmark or a Subaru commercial? He'd need to wear a life jacket.
Then I checked myself. Mr. Boehner was having an episode of authenticity in front of the whole world. He had worked for several decades to bring His Holiness to this moment. The next morning Boehner quit Congress. After years of invited infiltration to the Republican party of ideologues -- people who claimed government was bad and worked hard to prove it -- the once reasoned positions no longer existed. Boehner has been standing on a rock and the crazy tide has now come in so high he has no place to stand. He's jumped ship and is sailing on while the crazies fight over where the rock used to be.
I'm wondering if Pope Francis would consider a trip to Alaska. I think we need the help -- and by we, I mean Alaska House Speaker Mike Chenault and his oily choir boys.
Gov. Walker hasn't been real subtle about the fiscal crisis our state is in. You'd have to be under a rock not to know what the failed policies of the last three administrations, combined with the low price of oil, have done to our budget. A special session -- the third this year -- has been called by the governor and the clown car has pulled up in Juneau.
It's sort of like watching the GOP's junior varsity team to hear Chenault and famed baker Bill Stoltze whimper about not being informed enough, or that they haven't seen the governor's bill yet. Waah. Waah.
There was a coffee meeting with a five-hour presentation of the agenda for the special session announced for Saturday morning. Speaker Chenault was sort of all like, "Oh. My. Gosh. We're busy having our own meeting at the same time and, well, we'd love to be there, but, giggle, snort, huh, uh, see, we're thinking we'll coincidentally have our own committee hearing every day of the session."
Then Senate President Kevin Meyer left the governor a voicemail that said they wouldn't be at the session that would give them the information they had been complaining about not having. Their excuse may or may not be that they were having a hearing to decide who has the very best hair ever. Meyer also may or may not be hoping he wins! Sorry, Sen. Dunleavy.
Do I seem petty? Well, be glad I write pettiness in the paper to prove a point rather than being the one displaying it in elected office. You're welcome.
Who wants a gas line?
I think every one of us wants a gas line.
How are we going to get it?
I don't know.
The governor wants the state to invest in building a line that gets Alaska gas to Alaskans and to market. OK, let's hear more about that.
That's what the special session is all about.
I don't have a lot of high hopes. I know, I should be more optimistic, but I've seen how our legislative majority operates. Just like the lunatics that have pushed Boehner to hang up his gavel, they seem to prefer the state of Alaska fail than for Gov. Walker to have a success.
In classic Bill Stoltze style, the senator from Chugiak told the paper this week that he personally likes the governor (who doesn't?) but, "I think the public has higher expectations of us than just to blindly follow a lead."
Really? I hope coffee didn't just fly out your nose.
Why would anyone have higher expectations?! Anyone paying attention knows Stoltze, Chenault, Mike Hawker, Mike Dunleavy, Pete Kelly -- well, there's too many to list -- blindly followed when it was Parnell and Big Oil. Alaska be damned when trotting for those masters at the end of that unholy lead.
How about this for higher expectations -- Get your sorry behinds to Juneau. Do your job. You don't have to agree with the governor but quit giving him the one finger salute every chance you get. Walker has had more Alaskans vote for him than anyone else in that town. Stop whining about rain. Duh. It's Juneau.
Do your job or we're calling the Pope. If he's too busy we'll have our own "Come to Jesus" meeting next November.
Shannyn Moore is a radio broadcaster.
The views expressed here are the writer's own and are not necessarily endorsed by Alaska Dispatch News, which welcomes a broad range of viewpoints. To submit a piece for consideration, email commentary(at)alaskadispatch.com.