Q: Our organization is in charge of remodeling a facility for an organization that serves disabled people. We recently held a client briefing outlining our plans and experienced an awkward incident. One of our representatives came into the room to meet with the client group and was shaking hands until he realized that the man next in line had a deformed hand. At that point, our representative stopped shaking hands and didn't know what to do.
We've asked our contact person at the agency for guidance and were told, "Act normally and treat all of us as you'd like to be treated." We understand this idea, but think we should still apologize. How do we do that without adding to the embarrassment?
Also, what else should we look out for? For example, we normally present a detailed PowerPoint presentation, but one member of the client group is blind. Do we eliminate the PowerPoint because of this? Could you give us some guidelines?
A: Your contact gave you good instructions -- to treat your clients as clients and not focus on their disabilities. Your clients have had years to develop coping strategies for handling problem situations and individuals caught off guard. If you make a mistake, genuinely apologize.
Here's how to understand the handshake incident. If you meet a group of people and shake the hands of all but one them, you exclude and embarrass the person whose hand you don't shake. If you're shaking everyone's hand, and one of your clients has a deformed or prosthetic hand, offer a handshake. If the client's right hand is missing, offer your left hand.
Provide the PowerPoint presentation, however, when you do so cover the highlights orally. If you're part of a several-member group speaking to a blind client, identify yourself each time before you speak until the blind person learns to recognize your voice. You can say, "I'm Lynne, and here are my thoughts."
When you're talking to a deaf person accompanied by an interpreter, face the deaf person when speaking, and make contact if they're looking directly at you. Not only can many deaf individuals lip-read, but you're having a conversation with the deaf person and not the interpreter.
If you're speaking with someone with impaired speech and you don't understand what was said, don't fake it. Instead, ask, "Could you repeat that?" By asking for it to be said again you show that you respect what the person might say.
When talking with a client in a wheelchair, sit. If you stand, the person has to look up at you, which is tiring. If a client using a wheelchair exits a room at the same time as you do, don't touch it or push it unless you've offered help that has been accepted. Consider the wheelchair an extension of the person's body and don't invade their extended personal space.
Q: I'm quitting my job because of a bully. My department supervisor wants me to lodge an official complaint against the bully when I give my resignation. I know my supervisor has an ax to grind against the bully and I resent her trying to use me as her mouthpiece when she didn't do a darn thing to help me. I want to tell her, "It's your problem; you need to handle it yourself and should have a long time ago." Also, I'm leaving, so it's no longer my problem. Still, guilt over saying nothing is weighing on me.
A: This is no longer your problem -- if you properly close the door. If you leave without saying something you'll later wish you'd said, you leave the door swinging open. You clearly have something to say to your organization and your supervisor.
The issue isn't whether to voice your thoughts, but how to do so in a professional manner. Those who describe their reasons for leaving an organization give a gift to their former employer and to the employee who replaces them. Without labeling this person a bully, simply describe one or two pivotal instances, so senior management and your former employer's HR representative can realize they lost a good employee because they didn't recognize or handle a problem.
Next, you resent your supervisor's lack of action. Don't dump your frustration on her as you exit. Instead, encourage her to voice her thoughts herself. Let her know you'll share your part of the story, and add, "You need to say something as well to fix this situation for the better, for your next employee and yourself."
Lynne Curry writes a weekly column on workplace issues. She is author of "Solutions" and "Beating the Workplace Bully" and owner of the management/HR consulting/training firm The Growth Company Inc. Send your questions to her at lynne@thegrowthcompany.com. Follow her on Twitter @lynnecurry10, at www.workplacecoachblog.com or at her new site www.bullywhisperer.com.