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David Thorpe on why he's trying to exile Pitbull to Kodiak

Craig MedredAlaska Dispatch

Wal-Mart's newest promotional is designed to share rapper Pitbull's love of Energy Sheets with the nation, wherever that strange love may take him.

At the moment, it looks like it will be taking him to Kodiak, Alaska.

Pitbull, according to The Boston Phoenix, has expressed unbound excitement in regards to the Wal-Mart promotion. The entertainer stated, "I'm excited to find out which local Wal-Mart store has the most new likes so I can share the experience of using Energy Sheets® with my fans."

So, of all the Wal-Marts in the United States, how did Kodiak's end up as the unlikely front runner?

Somethingaweful.com writer David Thorpe is mostly to blame. Thorpe told the Boston Phoenix,

Infected by Pitbull's enthusiasm, I decided to get involved. With the help of some friends on Twitter, including the incomparable @fart (fellow SomethingAwful.com writer Jon Hendren), I started a campaign to exile Pitbull to the Wal-Mart on Kodiak Island, an icy, bear-infested locale just south of Alaska. As of now, the Kodiak Wal-Mart has over 22,000 new "likes" on Facebook, putting it far ahead of any other Wal-Mart in the nation — far ahead of Kodiak's actual population, in fact.

He adds,

Will he (Pitbull) be mauled by a Kodiak? Stay tuned for further developments.

What Thorpe means by "a Kodiak" remains a mystery, but whatever one of those is, it sounds dangerous.

You can read more from The Boston Phoenix here, or if you need to (re)discover how things got this far to begin with click here.