Even judges know that corporate lawyers can be ridiculous. In one of Apple's many high-profile lawsuits against Samsung, Apple wants to call 22 new witnesses even though it only has four hours left to make its case, BBC News reported. An apple attorney turned in a 75-page report about the witnesses, The Verge reported. Perhaps Apple's attorney thought that a court intern would have no trouble Xeroxing each of those 75 pages.
Needless to say, US District Judge Lucy Koh did not want to deal with a massive document this late in the trial. "I am not going to be running around trying to get 75 pages of briefings for people who are not going to be testifying," Koh told Apple's lawyer Bill Lee, CNET reported.
Judge Koh added later: "I mean come on. 75 pages! 75 pages! You want me to do an order on 75 pages, (and) unless you're smoking crack, you know these witnesses aren't going to be called when you have less than four hours."
Her accusation may have been a joke, but Lee took it seriously: "Your honor, I can assure you, I'm not smoking crack," Lee replied, according to TechCrunch. Apple's legal team subsequently realized that judges have lives, too, and agreed to shorten the document. Apple attorney Michael Jacobs said that Apple "didn't mean to burden the court," The Verge reported.