Anchorage Daily News

PALMER -- During a lunch in a grocery store cafe the other day with a guy who pumps septic tanks for a living, the sorry state of the economy came up. As piles of Chinese takeout disappeared down the hatch, one thing became clear. No matter how bad it gets, this is a man with job security.

"As long as this place stays open," he said, thumbing toward the grocery aisles, "I'll be waiting on the other end."

Spend a day riding shotgun with Tom Munoz of Tom's Septic Service, and you come away with a whole new appreciation for that shiny little handle that makes all things bad go away.

"You make it, we take it," as the industry saying goes.

An exact number isn't available, but it's safe to say there are tens of thousands of septic tanks in the Mat-Su Borough, and another 15,000 or so in the Anchorage Bowl. Most septic system people don't spend a lot of time contemplating their septage navels. Septic tanks are out of sight, out of mind.

That is, until they've had their fill of neglect, and what you thought you'd long since bid adieu to comes crawling back, up your pipes and into your bathtub.

Septic tanks need emptying every year or two, depending on how many people are contributing. It's a job not a lot of people envy. But it's a job that's got to be done. And Tom's among those doing it.

"Your Palmer Pumper" is his motto.

He's been doing it a long time, so long the bouquet doesn't bother him in the least.

"Smells like money," he shrugs.

Most days go by without incident. But once in a great while, you-know-what happens. Like the day of the exploding toilet.

And, those white, disposable coveralls he keeps beside the driver's seat in case of an emergency? He's needed them.

PUMPER FAMILY

Tom, 53, grew up in the business -- of other people's business. He's a third-generation septic service guy.

His grandfather was a merchant marine from Chile who jumped ship in New York harbor in 1921. He started the family business just outside New York City in the 1930s with a Model A truck, a tank, ropes and some buckets. Back in those days, tanks and cesspools were emptied by hand.

"They'd bucket it out, dump it into a tank on the back of the truck and dump it in the apple orchards," Tom said. "Back then you could get away with that stuff."

Tom's father, Larry, took up the trade. Aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters -- pretty near everyone in the Munoz family has done time in the business.

Tom was still in high school when his parents, sister and three brothers left New York, moved to Palmer and started A-1 Cesspool Service in 1972. The Munoz clan bought 170 acres up Lazy Mountain and blazed Helmaur Road, named for Tom's mother, Helen, and his sister Maureen.

Tom worked for his dad for years before starting his own service in 1996 with a fleet of one -- a blue-and-white, 25-ton Peterbilt with a 3,000-gallon tank that can handle about three septic loads a shot. Since there's no dumping facility open to pumpers in the Valley, he and the others make regular runs into Anchorage to dump their wares down a manhole at a septage receiving station on Turpin Street.

Tom's brothers got out of the business. His father got out of it, too, sold A-1 and left the state. Now it's just Tom and his wife, Karyn' Marie, carrying on the family tradition.

He's one guy with one truck. He keeps it simple on purpose. The bigger the business, the more headaches.

Now and then, he'll go beyond the call of duty. Like the old family friend who carries his snuff cans in the back pocket of his overalls. It's a problem.

"His wife calls me. 'What going on?' 'Well, he plugged the toilet up again.' I stick my hose in through the bathroom window, stick it down into the throat of the toilet and suck out his snuff box. And his wife is standing there with her hands on her hips, giving him the look."

"I've sucked up all kinds of stuff in my hoses," Tom says of other jobs. "Squirt guns, little plastic soap dishes, dentures."

YOU-KNOW-WHAT HAPPENS

Tom is vigilant about keeping his clothes, truck and gear clean. Especially his hands. He doesn't touch a thing without heavy rubber gloves.

Still, now and then, he'll introduce himself to a new customer: "Hi, my name's Tom." He'll put his hand out and the guy will jerk his away.

And then the guy will realize what he did. " 'I'm sorry,' he'll say.

'That's OK, I get that a lot.' "

The liquid waste business does have its image problems.

This is not something you want to think about too much, but included in Tom's gear are disposable coveralls "in case something really bad happens."

Such as?

A hose blows.

"I can peel out of my clothes and wash down with the water I have on board and climb into that suit and get home. That way I'm not driving home naked. Trooper: ''Ah, Mr. Munoz, where are your clothes?''

"I had my dump valve come off on the back when I was off-loading one time. And this truck dumps 600 gallons a minute through a six-inch hose.

"Yeah, I've had a few situations where it's been ugly."

None as ugly as the time his father was servicing a septic at a fourplex and encountered what he assumed was a clogged line. A shot of pressurized air, he decided, would clear it out.

Tom was still working for his father at the time. When he arrived at the site, he could hear the safety value atop of his dad's truck going psssssst.

"I looked at the line and I looked at my dad. He hits the lever. I went, 'Oh-oh.'

Moments later, this guy, screaming his head off, comes running out the door covered in "effluent," the polite word for contents of a septic tank.

The pipe wasn't clogged; it had come disconnected, and all that air had to go somewhere.

"It went for the easiest exit, which this guy was sitting on. He probably weighed about 280 plus, so he definitely had a good seal. So the pressure came up and blew this guy off the toilet, blew stuff all over the ceiling, all over the bathroom."

REVERSE ENGINES

The case of the exploding toilet became an insurance claim. But even garden variety septic problems score low on the fun meter. Systems fail, people get upset. And sometimes they blame the messenger. Like this guy who was trying to sell a house with a faulty system.

"He called me to come pump his tank," Tom said. "So I pumped it, and I made notation on his bill: Septic tank overloaded. Drain field overloaded. Water flowing back from drain field into your tank. In need of repair."

With the tank empty, the guy then called an engineer to do an adequacy test. And, big surprise, it failed.

A week and a half later he had Tom pump it again. When he was done, the guy informed him he had no intention of paying his bill.

Oh yeah?

He blamed Tom for flunking his septic text. The two exchanged words. The man got nasty. So Tom gave in.

" 'Hey, no problem,' " he said. " 'It's going back into your tank.'

He jumped into his truck, backed across the guy's lawn, grabbed a hose and just as he was about to put the goods back where he found them, the guy had a change of heart.

A word of advice: Don't mess with your pumper.

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Find Debra McKinney online at adn.com/contact/dmckinney or call 257-4465.

How septic systems work

When you're on a septic system rather than a city sewer line, every time you flush or wash something down the drain it ends up in your septic tank. As the tank fills, solids sink to the bottom and the lighter stuff (like grease and oil) floats to the top. Bacteria works over the solid material, but due to Alaska's cool soil temperatures not as efficiently as in warmer climates. The liquid that remains is called "effluent." It flows from the tank into the drain field -- a grid of buried, perforated pipes. It then slowly soaks into the ground and is filtered through layers of soil, sand and rock.

When a septic system works the way it's supposed to, by the time the effluent reaches the water table it's clean. When a septic system fails, waterways and wells can be contaminated, and people can be exposed to disease-causing pathogens. The more dense a subdivision, the more potential there is for trouble.

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Septic system do's and don'ts

Hints that your septic's ailing

• Smelly or soggy soil around the drain field

• The grass over the drain field is exceptionally green

• Sinks and toilets slow to drain

• Gurgling sounds in the plumbing

• Sewage odors inside or out

• Nasty stuff backing up into the drains

THE DON'T LIST

DO NOT FLUSH OR SEND DOWN DRAIN:

• kitchen grease or fat

• disposable diapers

• kitty litter

• dental floss

• sanitary napkins, tampons, applicators

• cigarette butts

• condoms

• coffee grounds

• paper towels, facial tissues

• paint, paint thinners, solvents

• pesticides

• photographic chemicals

• fuels, motor oil

A couple more don'ts from Oran Woolley of the Alaska Department of Environmental Conservation:

• Don't use a garbage disposal. If you can't live without one, your septic tank must be at least 250 gallons bigger.

• Don't use tank additives. There's little evidence they improve digestion in the tank. And because of our cool soil temperatures, in certain situations, some additives are actually illegal.

For more DEC information, check out the links at:

www.dec.state.ak.us/water/wwdp/onsite/onsite.htm

THE DO LIST

• avoid pricey toilet paper; the thicker, the worse since cotton fiber can clog the drain field

• use sparingly any chemical drain cleaners, toilet bowl cleaners and bleach since they can interfere with the bacteria in the tank. One alternative is adding a gallon of white vinegar to the water in the toilet bowl, let it sit a few hours, then flush

• direct runoff from gutters and downspouts away from drain field

• keep vehicles and outbuildings off the drain field

• use water conservatively; don't let it run while washing dishes, shaving, brushing teeth, etc.

• spread laundry loads out over a couple of days rather than doing a washing marathon

• fix leaky faucets and toilets; all water down the drain adds up

• plant only grass, never trees and shrubs, over the drain field

• keep in mind the gasses that build up in a septic tank are toxic; climbing into one that's been pumped to do further cleaning or repair via a manhole can be and has been fatal.

SEPTIC TANK MAINTENANCE

• You can inspect your tank by taking the plastic top off the standpipe from the primary chamber (the first or two compartments) that pokes from the ground and probe with a long pole. The sludge will leave a dark stain on the end. If it's 12 to 18 inches deep, it's time to pump.

• Tanks need to be pumped every two years, regardless, according to the DEC. Large families should pump every year.

• Pumping a 1,000-gallon septic tank generally costs $200 to $300. In addition to the size of the tank, cost depends on how well it's been maintained, how hard it is to reach and other factors.

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