Anchorage Daily News

Q. My supervisor, "Ned," got called on the carpet by our general manager. Because Ned thinks the chewing out was my fault, he's furious with me.

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I didn't intend to go over Ned's head. I was riding up in the elevator with the general manager and let it slip that I hadn't had the chance to complete my OSHA certification training and was worried about it. I didn't expect the general manager to ask the head of HR to check into it. When she did and told the general manager that our company could get fined for every day someone in my position lacked the certification, the GM came down on Ned.

Ned brought me into his office, said he was immediately scheduling the training and that next time I needed to raise this type of topic to do so with him first. I tried to remind Ned I'd been bringing it up for months, but I could tell I was just making him angrier.

In two weeks, our annual performance reviews are due and I'm worried that my supervisor's going to rate me inadequate or at best mediocre. In our company, if we don't get high ratings, we lose any chance for an end of the year bonus.

How can I fix this?

A. If you want to turn this around, genuinely apologize to Ned.

When two individuals get cross-wise, each tends to justify his or her behavior and point blame elsewhere. Your supervisor conveniently forgets he should have scheduled your training without being prompted. You explain you didn't mean anything when you mentioned it to the GM.

This never works. Your saying, "Hey, this wasn't my doing" only results in Ned thinking you don't regret his getting chewed out. Given that you partially set this train in motion, say you're sorry.

Once you admit your partial responsibility, your manager might admit his, at least to himself, lessening the likelihood of his taking his displeasure out on your review.

If he takes out his anger by unfairly rating you, visit your human resources manager immediately and explain the situation. A good HR manager will counsel Ned to revise his review. If this doesn't work and you receive an unfair review, intentionally do what you unwittingly did, and go over your boss's head.

Q. One of our company's clients employs a catty woman who knows my e-mail address and unfortunately frequents the same gym and espresso stand I do. Every couple of weeks I get e-mails from her with titles such as "gym etiquette" and "coffee ordering courtesy." She then explains, in detail, that I "hogged" the treadmill, didn't wipe down the bike after using it or should have known which size latte I wanted before I got in the order line.

I've tried putting her e-mails in spam but unfortunately that diverts the other e-mails from her firm and I still see them each week when I clean out the spam filter. I thought ignoring her was the best idea but it's not working as the number of e-mails from her keeps increasing.

A. Write her an e-mail marked "human decency." In it suggest she look in the mirror at a person so judgmental that she needs to e-mail others unsolicited behavior-correction advice. Don't e-mail it, however, because by doing so you'd stoop to her petty level. Then, put her e-mails in perspective and the next time you get one from her, consider yourself blessed that you aren't her.

Alternatively, because her behavior appears obsessive, you might want to schedule a meeting with either Ms. Cat or your boss after printing out her last dozen e-mails. Someone needs to tell her to back off as her offsite monitoring violates your privacy.

Lynne Curry is a local management trainer, consultant and syndicated columnist. Her advice and opinion column appears Mondays. Questions for her column may be faxed to her at 258-2157 or mailed to her c/o Anchorage Daily News, P.O. Box 149001, Anchorage 99514-9001. Her e-mail address is lynne@thegrowthcompany.net.

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