Anchorage Daily News

The phone rang rather late the other night.

“Did you know this is the Year of the Potato?” the guy on the other end wanted to know. That voice. … That vegetable. …

This had to be Palmer potato guru Bill Campbell, a guy with a head stuffed with potato science, potato trivia and potato tales, a guy who can and does talk potatoes longer than most people can listen, a guy with the personal motto, Cogito Ergo Spud. “I think, therefore I yam.”

“The United Nations declared 2008 the International Year of the Potato,” he said.

Who knew?

Nobody. And that’s why Campbell was calling. He intends to do something about that.

The potato, which packs a potent nutritional wallop, can be grown faster on less land than any other crop, making it a substantial weapon in the war on hunger, as well as playing a role in saving the planet. Closer to home, the potato is a $3.7 million industry in Alaska, nearly three-quarters of that from the Mat-Su.

So Campbell rented the Palmer Depot and is throwing a party in the potato’s honor on Wednesday night. Yeah, on a school night. In his opinion the potato deserves prime-time billing but that was the only night the depot was free. The Palmer Potato Pageant, he’s calling it.

“If I don’t do it, who’s going to? I’m the potato guy.”

Good point. When a letter came addressed to “The Potato Guy, Palmer, Alaska,” it found its way to him. Campbell is the state agronomist at the Plants Materials Centers near Palmer, a man who’s devoted 24 years and counting to propagation of the potato and the dogged pursuit of its enemies — the pests and diseases that destroy crops and make growers very unhappy. Needless to say, touting the tater is a lot more fun than battling blight.

Campbell considered having a Potato Queen, but settled for an Ugly Potato Contest instead. Well, not exactly a contest because there are no prizes. But whoever brings the ugliest potato is sure to get at least 15 seconds of fame. He’s got some contenders himself.

“A bunch of Jimmy Durantes,” he said. “And some weird insects.”

Not everyone shares Campbell’s potato passion. Not even family. After his second trip to Kyrgyzstan to teach villagers cultivation methods, he showed photos from his trip to his daughter.

Not impressed.

“ ‘Dad, there are 380 pictures of potato plants and 20 pictures of people. Get a life.’ ”

Campbell’s potato bash is as free as it is free-form, meaning all things potato are welcome. Think of it as a community show-and-tell: potato recipes, potato jokes, potato outfits, potato accessories, potato toys, potato poetry, potato haiku, potato art, potato sculpture, potato songs, potato dance.

Bring ’em on, he says.

He’ll be bringing gems from his own potato collection, which includes an image of Marilyn Monroe dressed in a potato sack, potato stamps, potato gadgets, potato comics, a Mr. Potato Head or two. “I actually have several,” he said. “I have Darth Tater too.”

There’s a well of potato stories and potato facts for him to dip into. Like how the notorious bank robber John Dillinger carved a potato into the shape of a gun, colored it with iodine or shoe polish or some such thing and used it to escape from jail. How on Tristan da Cunha, in the middle of the Atlantic, potatoes once served as currency. How the potato was once shunned, blamed for causing rickets, leprosy and syphilis. How the potato was the first vegetable grown in space, aboard the space shuttle Columbia.

To ensure that the potato doesn’t get stood up on Wednesday, Campbell has been rallying friends and local growers. He even asked the mayor of Palmer to declare Wednesday Palmer Potato Day. He’s still waiting for a callback on that one.

Find Debra McKinney online at adn.com/contact/dmckinney or call 257-4465.

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