Sen. Ted Stevens turned 82 on Friday, and he had a heck of a week.
Comedy Central's Jon Stewart can't seem to put his fake newscast together without lampooning the senior senator from Alaska. Let's just say the 1.4 million viewers of "The Daily Show" last week would have no trouble understanding why Stevens sometimes refers to himself as "a mean, miserable S.O.B."
The senator yelling "NO!" -- part of his fist-pounding defense of America's most infamous unbuilt bridges -- has apparently become a permanent part of at least one national talk radio show.
It was bad enough for Stevens last week that Congress undid the earmarks for the "Bridges to Nowhere." Worse, they did it in an appropriations bill -- one of those giant spending directives Stevens used to control and load up with Alaska goodies when he was committee chairman.
For those who recall his pledge last month to resign over Sen. Tom Coburn's move against the bridges: No, Stevens doesn't have to quit to make good. Coburn proposed taking the bridge money and sending it to Louisiana. Stevens said he'd resign "if the Senate decides to discriminate against our state and take money only from our state."
Alaska gets to keep the bridge money; hence, no resignation.
Stevens continues to be dogged by suggestions he was too easy on a group of oil executives who testified at a Senate hearing Nov. 9 on high gas prices. When Democrats tried to have the witnesses sworn in, Stevens sternly shut them down.
"Why?" Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., asked on the Senate floor Wednesday. "So they couldn't be held accountable if they didn't tell the truth."
Turns out, some of the execs might not have told the truth when they denied their people had talked to the White House's secret energy task force. Now Democrats are demanding that the oil witnesses come back to the Senate and explain themselves.
Stevens says nothing required him to administer the oath, and the crime of lying to Congress applies whether a witness take an oath or not. He hit the roof when he heard what Durbin said about him.
"To suggest I did not administer an oath to these witnesses to help them lie to members of Congress is false, inexcusable, and in violation of ... the long-standing practice of senatorial courtesy, and I expect an apology from the senator from Illinois," Stevens said.
At least Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.V., wished him a happy birthday.
"Oh! To be 82 again!" sighed Byrd, who hit that mark back in the 20th century. He praised Stevens in a flowery oratory, saying he's been an outstanding senator and a great friend.
"He's getting a little bit grumbly, but he can be forgiven for that," Byrd said.
NOTHING LOST?
How does Alaska Congressman Don Young feel about losing the bridge earmarks, including one that was to be named after him?
The earmark-ectomy happened in a bill Stevens negotiated, and Young's spokesman, Steve Hansen, punted.
"Don feels that Sen. Stevens did what he thought was in the best interest of the state, and it's good that the state will continue to receive that money and be able to decide how the bridges can be funded," Hansen said. "Nothing's been lost."
Young was less placid in a closed-door meeting with other lawmakers, according to the newspaper The Hill.
Young angrily took on Rep. Jeff Flake, R-Ariz., one of the most outspoken House critics of the bridges, The Hill said, citing unnamed lawmakers who said they witnessed it. He reportedly told Flake and Rep. Marilyn Musgrave, R-Colo., that he planned to be around a long time and wouldn't forget. He also got mad at other House members for not defending his projects when they got to take home millions of dollars for projects in their own districts, the account said.
Hansen said he wasn't sure what meeting the story referred to.
Daily News reporter Liz Ruskin can be reached at lruskin@adn.com.
