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Wanda & Wayne: Everywhere I go, I run into her exes

Wayne and Wanda

Dear Wayne and Wanda,

I've been seeing "Jenny" for a while now. Things are going good. She's funny and hot and a lot of fun. It seems like everywhere we go in Anchorage, she knows everyone, from the bartender to the waitress to the guy working security. This isn't surprising, since she's really friendly and social and grew up here. I've only been here a year, so it was like an added bonus to meet someone so well-connected.

But I've started to realize a lot of the guys she knows have been more than her friends. She's got way more experience in dating and romance than I do and it's in my face. I've stopped asking her if the dude waving at her is an ex. They always are! And let's be honest: a lot of these guys she "dated" are really just guys she was sleeping with.

I want to be mature about all this, but I feel jealous and inadequate, not to mention a little creeped out by the fact that everywhere we go in Anchorage, it seems like someone in the room has seen Jenny naked. Is there any hope here? Or should I move on?

-- Weirded Out

Wanda says: Jenny sounds like a super-friendly person -- something you found incredibly sexy until you realized many men had enjoyed this friendliness before you showed up. That's a fact that won't change, no matter how much you pout and sulk; Jenny has a past. Guess what? We all do. And guess what else? Her past experiences are what have made her the engaging woman she is today.

I'm not suggesting you send thank-you cards to her discarded dudes. But have some perspective. Anchorage is small. This isn't the big city, where exes, once exed, slip into the folds of the masses, never to be seen again. Jenny can't help that. Don't punish her for choices she made before. And anyway, this is 2014. Statistically, more people are deferring or skipping marriage, meaning the chances of coming into a relationship with more life experience increases.

Focus on the positive: free-spirited wild child Jenny has curbed her wanton ways because she thinks you're worth it. Don't prove her wrong.

Wayne says: To paraphrase my main man Marsellus Wallace, "That little sting you're feeling -- that's pride messing with you. Forget pride! Pride only hurts, it never helps." Now, let's get back into character ...

Yeah, men whine to one another about all the "drama" we have to put up with involving women, but some guys can be the real drama queens. Especially the wannabe alpha dogs with fragile egos, bottomless pride, possessive streaks and barbed-wire-armband tattoos.

Let me put this in simple terms before you spend the rest of your life kicking yourself for screwing this up: You have a super-fun, smoking hot girlfriend who has every eye in the house on her, but she only has eyes for you. And you have a problem with this. In other words, you're so money and you don't even know it.

I'll quit on the movie quotes and you really should quit on the jealousy. The past is the past, and as long as she's committed to a future with you, you should stop being ridiculous and start enjoying being one of the luckiest guys in town.

• Wanda is a wise person who has loved, lost and been to therapy. Wayne is a wise guy who has no use for therapy. Send them your questions and thoughts at wanda@adn.com.

 



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