Anchorage Daily News

The day John McCain announced Sarah Palin as his running mate, I was listening to local talk radio. A woman phoned in to express her joy, but first she had to qualify her opinion by saying, "I'm just a housewife." I thought, "Maybe if Sarah is elected VP we'll finally get past denigrating the value of housewives and the importance of what they think or feel."

A lot to ask? Seems like it if you read Dowd, Collins or Quinn -- all supposed feminists -- but a girl can dream.

I've been a housewife and mother most of my adult life. My brain hasn't turned to mush and I am not voiceless, clueless, joyless or lazy. Yet those are often the assumptions that are made about women like me. Worse, these attitudes are so pervasive that they infect our opinions about ourselves as well.

Rarely will you find more patronization and less support. I still remember the time when a man asked for the third time (attempts at light-hearted responses not being sufficient), "Just what do you do all day long?" His tone dripped with derision, even disgust.

The real answer? Lots.

Most of us cook, clean and care for children. Some are gourmet cooks -- not me. Some keep impeccable homes -- not me. And, beyond the major talent in raising kids -- knowing when to be tough, when to be soft -- we master a host of things.

I've installed a sliding glass door (dumb thing to attempt alone), two dishwashers, twice that many toilets and faucets, and every piece of electronic equipment we've ever owned. I've painted and wallpapered. I helped my son create his Boy Scout Pinewood Derby car and built my daughters' doll houses.

I've taught, tutored and tested. I've edited countless papers from grammar school right through grad school. I budget for our home and personally prepare our tax forms (why I knew after listening to Sen. Obama that he doesn't do his). I research all our major purchases and plan all our trips. Every time we moved, I knew whether the Realtor's suggested listing price was to her benefit or ours, since I'd already scoped out the comparable sales.

I've worked on the PTA, been a Girl Scout leader, taught religious education, served on the United Way, delivered meals-on-wheels, and in many years served as homeroom mom for all of my kids, as the "working moms" were too busy.

Yet, any resume I would put together would look barren -- a couple of degrees and the last full-time job more than 25 years ago.

How do I demonstrate I'm part psychologist, part CPA, part chef, part contract negotiator, part engineer, part comic, part judge and jury, part workhorse and part woman of leisure? How do I put in writing how much I've learned through all my experiences, and how much more I've learned being a part of the experiences of my children and husband?

I don't know about your job -- about the titles and words that are used to describe you -- but the word used to describe me doesn't begin to suggest all the things I've had to master.

If women or men step forward when circumstances call for action, speak up when wrongs need to be exposed, and act when opportunity knocks, I think they should be admired. If they do all this while helping those who are in need, keeping their principles intact and learning from the lessons life sends, I think they should be proud. I don't much care what job title they hold.

Years ago, women were told to raise their consciousness and think beyond the traditional roles of wife and mother. That was good advice. But did thinking beyond these roles mean we could never think of them?

Sarah Palin proves we can. She's a loving wife and mother. And she's running for the vice presidency. Good for her. Good for all of us.

Maybe now we'll have some collective consciousness-raising and understand talent is more than a list of job titles and not all accomplishments occur while being paid. And maybe, just maybe, that lady on the radio will someday think being a housewife doesn't disqualify her view.

Joann Grimes lives in Anchorage.

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